Cause of Death
by hoshi-ni-onegai
Summary: After escaping to Alaska for a week, Edward returns to Forks determined to control himself around Bella; only to find out that Bella is a terminal patient under his father's care. Edward is now faced with the question of how Bella should die: drink her, watch her die from her illness, or turn her into a monster. A rewrite of 'Twilight' from EPOV. AR, canonish, vampires.
1. Beneath the Surface

Author Notes: Okay, let's get one thing straight before I dive into this. I'm not really sure if I'm a fan of the _Twilight_ series. I think the books lack good writing, and the Edward-Bella relationship is grounds for an emotionally abusive relationship. However, I always loved the idea of immortality and vampires. I stumbled across _Twilight_ fanfiction, and realized I liked those characters better than the ones in the books or movies. This story is coming from a really weird place. The basis of fanfiction is that you are a fan... Oh well. I read the entire train wreck of a series, and wanted to change it. On another note, I read _The Hunger Games_ and I have nothing to change about it -hence the tackling of this series than that one.

Either way, I wanted to change the _Twilight_ world into a story where I can look at questions about the human condition and the price of immortality. Stephenie Meyers ruined part of the vampire genre by eliminating the consequences of immortality.

So don't ask me about team Edward/Jacob. I don't care. I maintain canon pairings.

I was nervous about posting this story because I know the _Twilight_ community has a stigma on it, and I don't want to discredit myself. But I think this is good practice to write in a voice of a character that is new to me, and a character that never falls asleep. So without further ado, here is the first chapter.

**Disclaimer: The **_**Twilight**_** world and all characters depicted are a creation of author, Stephenie Meyers.**

**Beneath the Surface**

By Hoshi-ni-Onegai

By the time I reached the limits of Forks, I was determined. Today I would introduce myself and attempt to strike up a conversation with the illusive Isabella Swan. Her mind was an impenetrable fortress, which coupled with her mouthwatering scent proved to be combination I couldn't forget. My week in Alaska did little to dispel her from my thoughts.

Making my way to the house, there was no evidence that anyone was home. Pulling Carlisle's car into the garage, I noticed Rosalie's ostentatious vehicle missing. She was no doubt showing off her car to the Forks High School students, something I never quite understood. These kids were easily amused; my silver Volvo was the talk of the parking lot for a good two weeks when I first got it. Then again, her red car may have the effect of distracting the students' thoughts from the new brunette addition to the school.

Walking through the front door, I made quick work to my room and changed clothes. I glanced at the clock sitting on my nightstand. I barely had five minutes to make it to school on time. I considered driving to school, but running would be faster and less noticeable. Leaping out the window of my room I sprinted to the high school that I had previously looked as a minimum security prison. I slowed down to a walk when I reached the edge of the woods next to the building with my first class.

The rest of the morning progressed as usual, but something was off. Just like any other day, I ran into my siblings but they were doing everything possible to block me out of their mind. Alice was reciting the periodic table and going through each element's atomic mass. Jasper was going through battle tactics on how to defeat Emmett later that day on the Xbox 360 shooter war game. Emmett was thinking about hunting a bear. Rosalie was being more vapid than usual and criticizing the looks of the female students. They were revealing nothing.

The other students were no more helpful. I peeked into the various minds at school but there was not a single blip of Bella in anyone's thoughts. Had the novelty of the new kid at school worn off already? In a town that experienced very little excitement and even less of anything new, how was the Phoenix native not a topic of conversation?

I grabbed my props from the lunch line and joined my siblings at our usual table. Their minds were still preoccupied with random things, they were trying their very best to keep me out. I gave Alice, my best bet at getting information, a pointed look. She wasn't having any of it as she recited the Gettysburg address in Mandarin.

There was no sign of Bella. I searched for her heart-shaped face through the eyes of the other students, but she was nowhere to be seen. Was she skipping lunch? From what I had seen last week, she was too thin to be missing meals.

_Maybe I should go see Bella afterschool._

Without realizing it, my head whipped toward the only mention of Bella I heard all day. I was beginning to think maybe I imagined the current object of my obsession -not that I wanted to admit I was obsessed. Concerns. Yes, that sounded better. Object of my concerns.

Angela Weber, the owner of the thoughts that caught my attention, addressed the table. "I think I'm going to visit Bella today, anyone want to come?"

"Who? Oh, Bella. Yeah." Jessica Stanley glanced up from her carrot sticks long enough to look at Angela, but was quickly distracted when she caught me staring. "Don't look now, but Edward Cullen is totally looking this way."

"What the hell does he want?" That was Mike Newton. There was always an edge to his voice when he talked to me or about me.

I looked away, pretending to stare at another batch of students, but my attention was still on them. My siblings were also listening on the table in question. It was a habit of ours to listen in whenever one of our names were mentioned.

"Never mind. False alarm." Jessica sighed, and her thoughts revealed that she had been hoping my eyes were checking her out.

"So, anyone in?" Angela attempted to bring everyone's attention back.

"For what? Oh, right. I think I'm going to pass. I barely know her." Jessica said and proceeded to munch on a carrot.

"She's new. She doesn't know anyone here." Angela pleaded with the group, but no one seemed to be moved by her words. "She's probably lonely."

The conversation was quickly changed and no other verbal or mental mention was given of Bella for the rest of the lunch period. As the warning bell sounded and students streamed out, Alice hung back and gave me a hug. "Welcome back Edward."

I looked down at the petite vampire. "You're not going to tell me anything are you?"

"I saw you decide." She smiled, "Talk to Carlisle. He wants to be the one to tell you."

"Tell me what?" She shrugged and traced her fingers against her sealed lips like a closed zipper. Twirling out of my presence she joined Jasper who was waiting for her at the cafeteria exit.

I sighed. What was going on? No one was letting anything on. I made my way to biology, lagging behind a bit to allow Bella to reach the room first. Once I made it to the classroom I found my partner's lab chair empty. Walking down the aisle, I listened in on everyone's thoughts but again there was no mention of her. The class proceeded as usual. Just as it had been before, I was left to do the lab alone. At one point Mr. Molina pawned a gold onion off to me, I barely registered what for. I went through the rest of my day and met up with everyone else at Rosalie's car.

Emmett raised a brow at me and shook his head. _You're not hitching a ride with us. Go to the hospital and talk to Carlisle. I'll probably let something slip, then Alice is going to rip me a new one. So for my sake, go to hospital._

I considered Emmett's thoughts and nodded. I turned away and headed the other direction to walk. At that very moment Tyler Crowley's van came careening into parking lot. The all-day drizzle made the lot slick and he lost control. I watched passively as he crashed into Mike's car. Mike was still chatting it up with his friends and was luckily not in the car. I continued walking out of the lot as I heard Mike yell at Tyler, the commotion caused around the accident, and Tyler blowing things out of proportion and demanding an ambulance.

By the time I heard the ambulance reach the school, I was walking through the doors of the hospital. That was the thing about small towns, everything close by. I went my usual path to Carlisle's office and fortunately found him alone. Without glancing up from his paperwork he addressed me. "Sit down Edward."

"What do you have to tell me?" I was getting straight to the point. I went through seven insufferable hours at school while everyone was out to keep something from me.

Making some final marks on a form he set aside his work and looked up at me. "It's nice to have you home. Esme will be happy to see you back." His voice, like usual, was caring and parental.

"Carlisle." I fixed him with a pointed look. "Tell me."

_I want you to stay calm._

"Stay calm about what?"

_Just remember that you barely know her._

"What?"

_Alice saw you make a decision and things are going to change._

"I know that, but-" My words were cut off by the resounding beep of his pager. He gave the small contraption a brief glance. From the halls of the small hospital the panicked voice of Tyler could be heard.

Carlisle raised a brow. "Did something happen at school?"

I rolled my eyes. "Five stitches tops."

Nodding in understanding he continued with our previous topic. "There's something about Bella you should know."

The pager went off again. Giving an exasperated sigh he stood up. "Give me a moment Edward. I promise I'll tell you when I come back, they're going to be paging me until I check on Tyler."

He escaped before I could protest and I was left alone in his office. What was with all the mystery? This was turning into an incredibly frustrating day. Getting up from the chair, I decided to leave. There was no use waiting for Carlisle. A small town doctor was kept busy the moment they were spotted. There was no doubt that Dr. Cullen would be passed from one case to another until the end of his shift. I had better luck catching him alone at home.

Stepping out of the office, I considered catching Carlisle during his dinner break, but that would be at least three hours away. Turning to the left to make my way out of building, I was distracted when a door opened from behind and a wafting small gust of wind came toward me. And just like a week ago, the intoxicating aroma enveloped my senses.

Pivoting on my foot I saw the figure of the girl that haunted my thoughts calmly meandering down the hall in a hospital-issue gown and robe. Her hair was pulled into a low ponytail and some unruly pieces of hair framed her small face. If she knew what was best for her, she would hide her neck. Instead, her thin pale throat was exposed, as was the inviting crook for her neck. We were currently alone in the hallway. I imagined ten different ways I would drink deeply for her pulse point without anyone realizing. This was the perfect location. I could easily stow her away in the morgue and-

My thoughts were cut off when her peering brown eyes met mine. She looked up from the floor where her socked and slippered feet scuffled against the linoleum. Her eyes widened when she took notice of me. "Edward Cullen?" It sounded more like a question than identification.

Not twenty feet away from me, she paused in her steps and considered me for a moment. Then she cocked her head to the side, exposing her neck further. "Did Mr. Molina send you?"

"Huh?" Great. The first word I speak to her isn't even a word.

"Oh, that's why figured you were here." She seemed to blush a bit then turned around to head the other way.

"Bella." Her name slipped past my lips before I could hesitate to keep it back.

She tilted her head back at me and spared me a glance.

"I... You... Today..." God, I sound like an idiot.

Her brows furrowed in confusion, no doubt from my incoherent babble. I sounded like Mike Newton and his band of hormonal teenagers that could barely talk straight to a pretty girl. Something about this girl made me nervous despite my centennial age. All things considered, I know what makes me nervous. The fact that she is the first mind in all my years that I can't read. The way her blood smells like a personal ambrosia. But especially the way her eyes kept with mine -a trait that is highly uncommon for a human when looking at someone of my kind.

"Yeah?" Her questioning word was asking me to continue, or to get to my point.

"My name is Edward Cullen." She frowned when I said my name. I felt like even bigger idiot, she had already called my name. I trudged on in the repeatedly mentally rehearsed introduction; there was no room for improvisation. "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan."

"How do you know my name?" Her voiced trembled a bit, but she steadied it by the end of her question.

"Oh, I think everyone knows your name." I chanced walking forward and standing next to her. "The whole town's been waiting for you to arrive."

"No. I mean, why did you call me Bella?" She leaned against the wall to support herself and held my gaze.

"Do you prefer Isabella?"

"No, I like Bella." Confusion settled on her face. "But I think Charlie -I mean my dad -must call me Isabella behind my back. That's what everyone here seems to know me as."

I mentally cursed myself. If I wasn't such a nosey mind reader I would be calling her Isabella like everyone else at our first meeting. Instead, I was calling her by the nickname she preferred. I gulped down the venom that continuously pooled in my mouth in her presence. My body was getting ready for the kill. But this is what I prepared for, the unbearable need to feed from this spry little thing. I spent days overfeeding to be able to stand at a dangerously close four feet from her.

"What are you doing here?" She questioned.

"I'm here to see Carlisle."

"Your father." She nodded in understanding. "Should have figured. Jessica mentioned you were adopted by Dr. Cullen. Small town, can't imagine there's more than one Dr. Cullen."

"I think the more appropriate question would be what you're doing here." I gestured to her robe. "Did you get hurt?"

"What?" She looked down at her state of dress as if seeing for the first time. "Oh, Charlie's a bit of a worrywart. I'm an only child. Every little bump, scratch, and fever warrants an emergency room visit in his book."

I looked her over briefly. "You don't look sick." Or smell sick for that matter, I mentally added.

"Gee, thanks."

"But I better not believe you. If Carlisle saw that I was keeping one of his patients from their room he'll have me killed." At most, I'll probably get a small frown, but she didn't need to know that. "I'll take you to your room."

She shook her head. "The nurse keeps on bugging me. I don't think there are that many other patients here."

"Then how about a walk? Are you up for it?" I motioned her onward.

"Isn't it raining?" Despite her question she continued in her original direction.

"It is Washington. It's raining seventy percent of the time." She shuttered at my statement, I chuckled in response. "You don't like the rain."

"Any wet cold thing..." She turned the corner toward the cafeteria. "I'm from Phoenix. I miss the heat and the sun."

"I somehow doubt that." At her look I added, "You're not very tan."

"Right back atcha." Coming into the small cafeteria she made her way to the closest set of chair and tables. She tripped over god knows what, as there was nothing in her way. I caught her arm in time and she shivered beneath my grip. I released her just as quickly as she was steady on her feet.

A blush crept across her cheeks as she gave a whispered word of thanks. She looked slightly winded as she settled down in a plastic chair. Why was she tired? Was she not as well as her outer appearance let on? There didn't appear to be a scratch on her. Maybe she was incredibly nonathletic. Her clumsiness pointed to that possibility.

"Did you want something? Coffee? A soda?" I offered.

"How about a pudding cup?"

At her request I laugh, "Isn't that all you get when you stay in these kinds of places?"

She shook her head, "They keep on giving me the diabetic meal. I keep getting sugar free lime jello, which tastes terrible by the way."

"I wouldn't know." That wasn't far from the truth. Sugar free jello wasn't available when I was human. "Do you mind what flavor?"

"Surprise me."

I nodded and walked over to the food line. I ventured through the line until I came across the pudding cups Bella had asked me for. Chocolate, vanilla, butterscotch, and sugar free vanilla. From what she said of the jello, I'm guessing sugar was a requirement. Picking up the vanilla I quickly paid the lady at the register and grabbed a plastic spoon on the way back.

She smiled as she took the small snack and peeled the top open. "I owe you."

"Sixty-five cents? Consider it a gift." I watched as she took in the first spoonful and she sighed in content. "Good?"

"You have no idea. Also good choice on vanilla."

"Safe choice."

"I'll remember that. You're Mr. Safety."

In my mind I could only think that I was the opposite of safe. I was incredibly dangerous, especially around her. I could taste her scent on my tongue. I had to continually allow my venom to slip down my throat. I was a bit proud of myself for not having killed her yet.

"If you hate the cold and the rain so much, why'd you move to the wettest place in the continental US?"

She paused before eating her next spoonful. "It's complicated."

"I'm sure I can keep up."

A small frown tugged on her lips. Maybe I stepped over a line? She was quiet as she tucked in the rest of her pudding. I was about to say something else when I heard Carlisle coming toward us. _Edward, stop. I need to talk to you._

Bella changed the subject anyways. "Did you get contacts?"

"No." I never tried, but contacts would probably dissolve on my eyes.

"Your eyes were black the last time I saw you, and now they're like gold brown..."

"Yeah, I know it's the uh," I stumbled over my answer. "It's the fluorescents."

I was saved from clumsy explanation when Carlisle came in and stopped next to us. His ever-present smile was directed at her. "I see you've met my son Bella."

"He's actually my lab partner in biology." She answered matter-of-factly.

"Oh is he? Edward, you didn't mention you met Bella." _Try to excuse yourself. We need to talk._

"Your son is a typical Mr. Darcy, unsociable and taciturn the first time I met him." At her reference to _Pride and Prejudice_ I shared an amused look with Carlisle.

"He's usually a gentleman afterwards, so forgive him."

"He got me pudding. He seems okay in my book." She sighed, "You're here to drag me back aren't you?"

"Nurse Helen was worried you were spirited away. And you need your rest." _Edward, meet me in my office._

I gave a nod that only he noticed and stood up. "I'll leave you to your doctoring then."

I left the cafeteria and worked my way back to Carlisle's office. The moment I was away from her scent there was a weight lifted off my shoulders. I had almost forgotten in the ten or so minutes I spent with her how it was to breathe in air that didn't automatically seep venom into my mouth in anticipation.

Sitting down in Carlisle's office I waited for his arrival. I started pondering over Bella's presence in the hospital. Judging by the gown, robe, socks, and slippers, this was not an emergency room visit like she had let on. This was possibly an overnight stay, but that would indicate something serious or something that needed monitoring.

Before my mind could get ahead of itself Carlisle returned. Sitting on the edge of his desk, he positioned himself a bit higher than me -a habit of his when he needed to fill his fatherly role. _I need for you stay calm about this._

"You're making me nervous with the anticipation. No one is letting anything on. What happened? What's going on?"

He sighed in defeat but his mind revealed nothing. Unlike my siblings, he didn't need to keep his thoughts busy to hide them from me. Out of the entire Cullen clan, we were the beginning, no one knew me as long or as well as Carlisle.

"Bella's a patient of mine Edward."

I frowned at his revelation. "I figured."

"Alice told me you made a decision while in Alaska." I nodded in the affirmative, not that I was certain what the decision was quite yet. I decided to return and face Bella and her enticing blood, but anything beyond that was still an enigma. "Alice saw that you might grow... attached to Bella."

"Attached? What do you mean?" Was this a euphemism for feeding from her?

"I'm not telling you to distance yourself from her, but I think you need to know everything."

"Just tell me."

He looked me over and pinned me with his eyes. "She's a terminal patient."

"What?" My mind automatically scanned back through all the minutes I spent with her. My photographic memory searched through any indication of an illness but there were none. She looked as healthy as any of her fellow classmates. "How's that even possible?"

"Bella has an inoperable brain tumor that's pressing on her hypothalamus. She has gone through bouts of chemotherapy and her mother has shuffled her around to all the best hospitals around the country for the latest treatments. She even went through an experimental trial at the Mayo Clinic, but the tumor wasn't responding. There's no way to get in there without leaving her without severe brain damage."

His words spilled forward and I soaked in each one. I understood the logistics of these illnesses. I have two medical degrees under my belt, one of them with a focus on neurology. But he must have been wrong, mixed up the charts with an old lady down the hall or something.

"You're wrong. You're confusing my Bella with a different Bella."

_My Bella?_ His lone thought snapped me to attention but he didn't press any further. "I'm certain Edward. I also ran some test when she was admitted to the hospital the other day for a seizure. I also have her medical records from all her previous doctors."

"Chemo. She hasn't gone through it. She has all her hair and it's so long." I was grasping at straws.

"You know that's a side effect most people go through, not everyone."

I shook my head. There was something wrong with this picture. Something wrong with the way I was reacting to someone I barely knew. Being over a hundred years old came with the territory of knowing many people, but also seeing them die one by one. It was the human condition. Death was inevitable.

"So what are you doing about it?" Carlisle was phenomenal doctor, but he was not world renown for his break through procedures or surgeries. He couldn't be, he had to fly under the radar and be forgettable. He was not the neurosurgeon that Bella needed.

"She was given a prognosis of three years at most Edward." I tried to penetrate his mind for all the information at once but he wasn't relinquishing his mental hold. "She's going into her thirty-fourth month tomorrow."

My eyes widened as I could only whisper. "So she came to..."

"She wanted to be with Charlie. Her mother's husband was transferred to the minor league baseball team in Seattle and is staying there." He was measuring my reactions carefully with each new revelation.

"There's nothing you can do." I'm not sure if that was a question or a statement on my part, but I already knew the answer.

"I'm here to make her comfortable." There it was. As good as any stamp of death from a doctor. When there was nothing medical that could be done, it was all about the comfort of a patient.

"Why isn't she in a hospice? Why did she bother going to a new school?" As my questions flowed out, I thought back to Bella. A common symptom of a hypothalamic tumor was weight loss. Was she thin because of the tumor? Was she clumsy to a fault because hyperactivity? Was she pale because she spent the better part of her high school years inside the hospital instead of outside?

"The closest hospice is in Port Angeles, and she refused to be admitted to one. She wanted to feel like a normal girl so she enrolled into Forks High School. Since her parent's divorce she's spent most of her time with her mother, Renee. She wanted to be with Charlie before her time came." He measured his words carefully before he spoke next. "I'm not going to prevent you from seeing her."

I scowled at the thought. "What? Because if I slip up and can't hold back from killing her it's okay? She's going to die soon anyways right?"

_You know that's not what I meant. I trust you completely son. I know you won't hurt her._

As his thought filtered into my head I calmed. Carlisle had the habit of expressing important matters to me through his mind than out loud. There was no room for misunderstandings or lies if I was a constant vigil of everyone's thoughts. Well, all except one now.

I gave a slight tilt of the head in affirmation, one I wasn't sure if I fully believed in. I stood and left the office. Carlisle didn't seem to have anything more to say and I needed to sort my thoughts. I somehow found myself standing just outside Bella's room where she seemed to be trying to talk nurse Helen out of giving her an additional pillow. I stood there silently for a moment while I took in a deep breath through my nose. All that met me was the thick sterile and sick air of the hospital, but also the allure of Bella. There was nothing off about it. There was no indication that she was ill or weak.

I needed to leave before I barged in there to examine her myself. There was a protectiveness I felt toward her that predated my knowledge of her illness or my escape to Alaska. That was one of the main reasons I left, that along with my moral compass and Carlisle's possible disappointment in me.

I'm not sure how I convinced my body to turn and exit the hospital, but before I knew it I was racing to see Alice. She had seen a future. A future that involved by decision of returning and facing Bella. There was something else that I wasn't being told, and I was determined to find out.

Racing to the house I found Alice already waiting for me on the front steps. She smiled and pointed toward the forest. "I know you're going to want to feed again. And you want to talk."

There were times when I found Alice's gift a bit annoying. This wasn't one of those times. I was thankful that I didn't need to over explain. She just understood. That's probably the reason why out of all my siblings I felt the closest to her, despite the fact that I've known her for less time than my blood siblings.

The rain had let up to a light drizzle and we chased each other through the towering trees. Two elks later we were sufficiently full and she didn't have any more excuses to evade my questions.

"What did you see Alice?"

Sitting on a boulder she sighed and rested her chin in her hand. "You know, the rest of the world has to go through these steps blind."

"What steps?"

_You are asking about Bella right?_

I frowned at her mental pass. Who else would I be asking about? I ran away to Alaska to keep from killing the girl. Was there another conflict I could possibly be thinking about?

She let out an exasperated sigh. _You're an idiot._

I glared at her in response.

"I can't believe you're this dense. I mean, a century of celibacy and nothing beyond family ties can do that to a person, but this?" She looked me over with her penetrating eyes then a sign of defeat crossed them. "I'm going to show you what I saw. Carlisle didn't want me to, but I think you should know."

Sudden my head was flooded with images. Some were blurry, like the future wasn't completely formed yet. But some, some were crystal clear.

Bella lying on a hospital bed and I'm keeping her company at her side. She's laughing, and I'm smiling. Genuinely smiling.

We're lying in what I can only assume is Bella's bedroom while she sleeps soundly and I'm cradling her.

I'm greeting Bella in the school parking lot and kissing her on the crown of her head. I mumble something only she can hear and she smiles softly.

Bella's in my meadow and twirling around. Her clumsiness gets the best of her and she trips and I catch her. She giggles. I look at her with worry and scold her.

The next scene is what throws me the most, but it's the blurriest of them all. Bella is running through trees. Her hair is whipping behind her and she glances back smiling. I come up behind her and run alongside her. The sun peeks through the canopy and glances off our skin. The refracted light shimmered against the leaves, trunks, and ground. Our skin like diamonds.

"No!" I leapt back, as if that would clear that final image from my mind. But it followed the thirty feet I flew back. Alice stopped the visions from invading my consciousness, but they were cauterized into my brain.

"Edward. Calm down. It's the future." She stood from her place and raised both hands in front of her in a gesture that she meant no harm.

"The future can change! I'm not allowing this."

"She's dying. Like you were. Like Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett."

"That doesn't mean we can do that to her!" I spat out. I couldn't handle this or the way she trying reassuring me with her thoughts. I barely spared her a glance before I ran.

How was this happening? Earlier today I was only resolved in facing my weakness. I was determined in being able to be in the same room as Bella. That I could be her biology lab partner without fantasizing about the way I would sip her blood through my lips and coat my tongue. I would control myself from snapping her neck. I would protect her.

Instead, I was dooming her. Everything was tumbling too quickly out of my control. How was it even possible that I was falling into these emotions I could barely even identify?

I stopped suddenly. I had allowed myself to run blindly, which was never safe at the velocity my kind went at. Judging by the scenery and my photographic memory of North America, I was somewhere near the Canadian border by Okanogan National Forest. Finding a fallen tree trunk, I plopped down on it defeated.

Sunset was hours ago. There was complete darkness covering the forest, but I could see. It was one of the simple reminders that I wasn't human. I could sprint from Forks to the edge of the country in less than an afternoon. I could see the clear focus of insects and small wildlife scurrying across the undergrowth. The cold that was biting through the atmosphere didn't bother me. And I would be the death of Bella Swan.

I knew somewhere in my mind that it would be the tumor that would be the ultimate end of her. But I was signing her death certificate. I would drain her and relish every drop of blood. I would stand by and watch her die slow and painfully from the tumor. Or I would be too much of a coward to let her go and turn her into a monster.

I don't know her. I don't know what kind of person she is. I don't have feelings for her. Okay, so that last one was a lie, but I couldn't identify what they were.

But I knew what Alice was hinting at and what Carlisle feared. I may have been inexperienced in romantic relationships but I wasn't that incredibly dense. I have never been in love, but I knew I was coming into the beginnings of it. If the intense protectiveness I felt toward the small brunette was any indication, I was destined to fall and fall hard.

I couldn't explain the attachment I was already experiencing. But I didn't want to be smart and kind. I didn't want to stay away from her.

I got up. I wasn't going to feel sorry for myself and wallow in self pity. If what I was experiencing was kismet then I wasn't going to deny myself or Bella our only chance at it. But I would look for another way, a way where I didn't turn her into a blood sucking demon.


	2. Accidents Happen

Author Notes: This is a story where I look into Edward's existential crisis. Romance will be part of this, but it's more about Edward's inner musings and what "living" really means. I will not address this weird construct of "mates" that the _Twilight_ fanfiction community created. The canon doesn't talk about this like it's a thing, and the only semblance of it is with the werewolf imprinting -which I think is kind of weird. I like to think we're all in charge of our destinies. We pick the people we are with because we want to, not because we're part of some puppet show.

A lot of this story is already written, but I'm pacing the updates. This second one is coming quickly because I always think first chapters only sets up the premise, and the seconds get you into the world. So welcome to Edward's world. Also, since I write this in one continuous stream of consciousness and not in chapters, the cut off may be a bit jarring. If anything I would recommend reading all the chapters one after another... but I'm preventing that by posting this in chapters.

**Disclaimer: The **_**Twilight**_** world and all characters depicted are a creation of author, Stephenie Meyers.**

**Accidents Happen**

By Hoshi-ni-Onegai

Running was good for me. It was the way I cleared my head. I couldn't sleep, so the phrase "sleep on it" was lost to my kind. We each had our way of sorting through our thoughts and experiences. My way was running. With each mile I felt another inch of clarity. But all I was clear on was that I was not denying myself the chance to get to know her. And I wasn't going to deny her the chance to reject me. That would solve my problems. If she didn't like me, even hated me, or was disgusted with what I am. I could only hope.

By the time I reached my room and changed my clothes, my siblings were waiting around my Volvo. Rosalie was grumbling about taking my car again, but it was the inconspicuous choice. They talked amongst themselves and didn't address a word or a thought at me. They knew not to bother me and I wasn't sure if I could handle their opinions right now.

Piling out of the car I quickly left them and headed toward the administration building. Mrs. Cope, just the administrator I wanted to see was typing away on the computer.

"Mrs. Cope?" I leaned over the counter to smile down at her.

When she looked up she blushed. _Too young. Far too young. He could be my son for God's sake._ "Yes Edward?" Her voice was even, but her lewd thoughts were a bit disturbing.

"I was wondering if I could get Isabella Swan's schedule? I'm swinging by the hospital later to see my father, and as her lab partner I thought I should volunteer to take some school work over. You know, so she doesn't get too far behind."

_My, isn't he incredibly thoughtful._ "Of course dear. Is she going to be in the hospital much longer? I heard she got a terrible case of the flu."

"The flu?"

"That's what I heard from Jackie at the diner. Do you know how much longer she'll be there? Poor thing was only at school for four days, barely knows anyone here."

"My father only told me she was in the hospital." No wonder she wasn't the gossip of the school yesterday. Everyone thought she was in for a bad flu. Word spread fast in a small town. Either the Swans were keeping things under wraps or this was a bad game of telephone.

"Here you go dear." She handed me the print out of Bella's schedule. I smiled at her and left the office before I could be bombarded with another stream of vulgar ideas of what she wanted to do with me.

The rest of my school day was spent circling around to Bella's different classes in between my own. I tried hearing any bits and pieces about her, but mum's the word on Bella.

The day felt long. Really long. This was the first time in decades since I was determined to do anything. I know I can't just waltz into the hospital and hope to run into her by accident again today. I needed an excuse, and taking her the accumulating pile of school work was the best I could do at short notice.

Alice wordlessly took my car keys and headed home with the rest of my siblings. I was left walking to the hospital again, which I didn't mind. Instead of checking in with Carlisle like I did yesterday, I went straight to Bella's room.

I stared at the door for a good minute and a half before I finally gathered the courage to give a light knock.

"Come in." Her voice filtered toward me and I pushed the door forward and stepped in. Her back was turned to me as she was stuffing something into her backpack. "Nurse Helen, if you're trying to give me more jello I think my skin will turn green."

I cleared my throat to catch her attention. Apparently she thought I was a middle-aged health care provider.

Spinning around she looked surprised to see me. Her clumsiness got the best of her and she had to balance herself on the side of the bed. "Edward Cullen."

I smiled. "You can just call me Edward you know."

"Sorry." She blushed a bit and turned to grab her bag to zip it up. "Everyone calls you by your full name."

"Everyone?"

"You know, the girls at school, the young nurses. The moment I told one of them I was a junior at Forks high they were asking if I knew you. I barely got a rest with everyone asking about you." She turned back toward me and slung her backpack on her shoulder. "Just watch out of nurse Linda, she has this major thing for you."

"I'll be careful." I gestured to her current state of dress and bag. "Going somewhere?"

"Oh." She glanced down at her hoodie, jeans, and sneakers. "I'm busting out of here."

"Really?"

"Your dad said I could. So maybe I'm not as rebellious as I let on." She tilted her head to the side. "So what brings you to Forks Community Hospital? Another visit to Dr. Cullen?"

"Actually, I was here to see you." I could only smile wider in response to her surprised blush. "I have the school work you missed."

She stared at me for a pregnant moment. I think I've gotten lazy through my years of hearing everyone's thoughts. I was having a difficult time figuring her out.

"That was... nice of you. A bit unexpected." She raised a brow when I pulled out a packed folder full of work. "Seriously? I've been gone for three school days."

I handed the folder over to her and the ends of her finger tips brushed mine, but she didn't flinch from the cold.

"Angela came by yesterday and said she tried getting my schedule but Mrs. Cope barely gave her the time of day."

I shrugged, "You have to catch her in the morning before she has the chance to pretend to get swamped."

She leafed through the various assignments and paused on one. "You even got history class? I heard Ms. Miller was a tough egg to crack."

"Wasn't too hard."

"Not surprised." She let out a light scoff.

"What's that supposed to mean?" This would be a lot easier if I could hear her thoughts and if my imagination wasn't going rampant with her scent.

"I mean, I'm sure you whipped out your smile and dazzled it right out her."

Wait, what? "Dazzle?"

"Oh, like you don't know the effect you have on people."

"I dazzle people?" That was the first time I heard the vampire thrall called that way.

"Not everyone gets there way as easily as you do." She paused then shrugged. "Then again, I'm sure all you Cullens get your way. No wonder you think it's normal."

"All you Cullens?" I repeated as a question.

"Come on. You're all gorgeous and dazzling. Rosalie alone is the most beautiful person I've ever seen in person and on TV." She quickly snapped the folder shut and shoved it in her already full bag. "Well, thanks for the homework. I'm not going to school tomorrow so I'll have a long weekend until Monday to do all of this."

She weaved her way around me and headed toward the door. But I wasn't letting her off that easily. I trailed behind. "You think I'm gorgeous?"

She spared me a peek from behind her mahogany curtain of hair. I could see the tinge of pink gracing her cheeks. "I'm not here to stroke your ego Edward."

I followed her out of the hospital doors where I expected to see someone waiting for her, but she headed down the sidewalk. I caught up to walk next to her. "I thought Chief Swan was picking you up."

"He's at work and my truck is still in my driveway at home."

"You're walking? You just got out of the hospital." I continued to walk next to her. She didn't seem very bothered by it, and I figured I would keep on until she ordered me away.

"It was just the flu Edward."

So it was her idea to spread the flu rumor. Judging by the short time I've spent with her, Bella struck as the kind of girl that avoided attention. If this tiny town were to find out that Chief Charlie Swan's daughter came back to die, no one would ever leave them alone. The amount of condolence pies and casseroles left on their doorstep would be able to feed a small nation for a month.

As she turned down the street away from town and toward the long road to her house, I decided to stop her. If she were to go home now, then my time would be cut off. I was hoping to help her with the stack of school work and live out the first image Alice had showed me. At this rate, I was going to be a considerate lab partner and that would be the end of it.

"Are you busy now?"

She stopped walking and turned slightly toward me. Confusion was evident on her face. "Well, I mean. I had 'check out of hospital' on my things to do today... but now that's done."

Why do I repeatedly feel like a fumbling idiotic teenager when I'm around her? "I was wondering if you wanted some help with the school work."

She looked taken aback by my offer. "Didn't you just miss a bunch of days off school? I know you were gone for at least three of them."

"I'm a few chapters ahead in my reading." In truth, I was a few doctoral degrees ahead in my studies. "I can at least help you out with bio."

The anticipation while she deliberated would make me sweat -if I had the working sweat glands to do so.

"Okay. I appreciate it. Where to professor?" Little did she know I could serve as professor in the country's major universities. "The library?"

I frowned at the thought of sitting in the small cramped library where not even the most whispered conversations were private. I was attempting to spend time with her to get to know her, not just help her with trigonometry and mitosis.

"Better not. I think I overheard Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley saying they were going there afterschool." Which was a lie, but she didn't need to know that.

She cringed at those names. "Yeah. Better not. How about my place? Charlie won't be home until later."

I smiled at the suggestion and a raised a brow. "All alone huh?"

She blushed. "I didn't mean it like that."

I laughed. "I know. I'm just teasing."

Giving a small huff she led the way back to her house. I followed along quietly. The more time I spent with her, the more the draw for her blood was controllable. She was becoming less of a meal, and more a girl from school.

The sidewalk ended when there was less than a quarter of a mile left until we reached the Swan residence. She didn't exactly live on the outskirts of town -I did- but this was still bit of a walk for a human. A sick human no less.

"Are you sure you're okay? I can carry you the rest of the way."

She frowned through her exhausted breathing. "I'm a twenty-first century kind of girl. I have two working legs and I plan to use them."

Just as I was about to talk her into a piggyback for the rest of the way, I heard the screeching of tires. My eyes widened as I saw the sedan coming right at us. I had naturally taken the position next to the road and she was walking the edge, safely toward the trees. But the red car was obviously losing control with the too rapid turn it had taken on the corner. I couldn't risk pushing her off to the side and bashing her head against one of the lone rocks. Carlisle would kill me if I tossed his brain tumor patient like rag doll.

I only had one option.

Quickly turning toward her I cocooned her in my arms against my chest. I felt the impact of the car on my back and push me forward a bit. I kept my ground. The car skidded to a halt yards away. Waylon Forge stumbled out of the car and ran toward us.

"Oh my God! Are you okay?" His wrinkled eyes widened when he saw the frail still living creature in my arms. "Bella? Charlie is going to have my head for this. Let me drive you two to the hospital."

Steadying Bella on her feet, I straightened up. A normal person would have probably suffered a severed spinal cord, but instead I would suffer the wrath of Alice when she saw the state of my pea coat. "We're fine Mr. Forge. You barely grazed me."

He shook his head. "No. I'd feel much better if I took you to the hospital."

Bella, who was shook up and wordless until then shouted out. "No!"

We both stared at her in surprise.

"I mean. I'm fine. I didn't feel a thing." She picked up her backpack that had slipped off her shoulder during commotion. "I'm just down the road here. I'll see you at the diner Waylon."

Not giving the older guy a chance to argue she tugged me down the street to her front steps. The dumbfounded Waylon was frozen where we left him and she shoved me into her house once she fumbled the door open with her keys.

Once the door was shut she looked me over with calculating eyes. Finally she looked directly at my face garnering all my attention. "What the hell was that?"

"A minor accident?" I attempted.

"No. He hit you. I saw it. There's an Edward-sized dent on the side of his car, which he probably won't notice because the car's already so beat up." Her eyes were not letting down. "How did you even react fast enough?"

How did she even see all that? I was relatively certain that I had blocked her view before she had a chance to see anything. Apparently I was incredibly mistaken. She had seen everything. Well, anything that mattered that is. And what was up with the amount of people losing control of their vehicles in this town? Yesterday Tyler, today Waylan. "I think maybe you hit your head Bella."

"No I didn't. Thanks to you that is." Her eyes bore into mine. "You pushed the car away."

I shook my head and stepped toward the door. "I think you're frazzled. Why don't you rest and we'll do a rain check on the study session?"

I was out the door and running down the street at a human pace within second. I was careless. I had let a human see me use my strength and speed. And worse yet, I had done it in front of one of the only observant person in Forks.

When I arrived home I saw Alice waiting for me outside again. She gave a tentative smile. "They know. I saw you make the decision to save her. I'm sorry. Jasper felt my emotions and asked it out of me."

I nodded. I couldn't really blame her. With a telepath, clairvoyant, and pathokinetic in the house, there could be no real secrets.

_Carlisle understands. Actually, everyone understands... except Rosalie. She's furious._

I knew without being told to go to the dining room -or what we used as a conference room. I settled myself in my usual seat and braced myself.

Rosalie was the first to snap. "What were you thinking?"

Carlisle raised a calming hand. "He saved a life Rosalie. We can't reprimand him for that."

"She's going to die anyways." Her words sliced through me.

The only thing that stopped me from seething and slamming her head into the table was Jasper's ability to calm me down.

"Rosalie!" Carlisle's tone was stern. He rarely brought forward the scolding father role, but I could tell by his internal monologue that he was disappointed in her choice of words.

The situation didn't escalate any further when I heard the regret and the begrudging mental apology from her.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We don't know what she's figured out -if anything." Carlisle looked pointedly at the four posing high schoolers. "Keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn't mention anything to anyone. If she suspects something, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

Damage control, that's what we were forced to do now. It was my fault. I was putting my family in danger because I made a rookie mistake. I sighed, "At least we have three days to figure something out. She said she wasn't going to school tomorrow."

"Actually..." Everyone turned their attention to Alice when she spoke up. "She decided she's going to school after all. She wants to confront you."

This just gets better and better. For the rest of the night my family left me alone. I shut myself in my room and spent the better part of the night staring at the ceiling. I played over all possible scenarios for tomorrow. But the problem was that I found her so unpredictable.


	3. Suspicion

Author Notes: Thank you to all those who are reading and reviewing. I forgot how much of a phenomenon this franchise is.

I'm writing this version of _Twilight_ from Edward's point of view, because what I read of _Midnight Sun_ is better than Bella's pov. I don't understand the appeal of Bella's character (hence she is different in this story). No matter how many times Stephenie Meyers says she acts "middle aged," Bella is a vapid idiot that is basing her feelings for Edward on what he looks like and acts selfishly without a thought for how her parents may worry. And so ends my rant and so starts the chapter.

**Disclaimer: The **_**Twilight**_** world and all characters depicted are a creation of author, Stephenie Meyers.**

**Suspicion**

By Hoshi-ni-Onegai

When I finally found myself pulling the Volvo into my usual space in the school lot I was still at a loss. At the moment, the best I came up with was the silent treatment. You would think that I actually was a teenage boy.

"Bella's back!" All of our ears perked up at Angela's voice. We all walked toward the lockers but I knew like myself, my siblings were listening as Bella pulled her rickety truck into the lot.

Climbing out of her truck, she gave a shy greeting to Angela and her friends. It was odd. The moment she stepped onto the school grounds, she was the topic of everyone's thoughts again. It was as if while she was gone people forgot that she existed. Now that she was back, all the boys were again clambering for her attention. Mike Newton's NC-17 rated thoughts alone were too much.

A short week and a bit ago none of their thoughts of the new girl bothered me. But everything was different. The new girl was Bella. I never considered myself to be the jealous type, but maybe I was.

Much like her first day, which to this point was the only day we both had been to school at the same time, I didn't see her until lunch. The five of us sat at our table with our usual props and kept a keen ear to the gossip. We were waiting for any mention of my superhuman abilities from yesterday.

"Anything?" Emmett asked after not hearing anything that would indicate that Bella had spilled the news. I shook my head. The only mention of Bella was how some of the boys were scheming to ask her to the dance. How was it possible that they could put her out of their mind so quickly and obsess about her the moment she makes an appearance?

"Maybe she's not going to say anything." Alice pointed out optimistically.

"Doubt it. This is the first dirt anyone has gotten a hold of on us." Rosalie was still under the impression that I doomed the family. _You know, I was only months away from graduation. Months Edward. I can't believe we're going to have to move again._

"You don't know that yet Rosalie." I was distracted in the next moment when the familiar aroma entered the cafeteria. My back visibly stiffened.

"Are you going to be okay?" Alice asked.

"Yeah. I handled being alone with her yesterday. A room full of witnesses should be fine." My voice sounded surprisingly even. I was actually nervous as to what she might say. The cafeteria, after all, was the breeding ground of gossip.

"Either she has the hots for you or she's trying to glare holes into your head there bro." Emmett grinned. He was the least worried about our current predicament. He was always the most laid back.

I saw, through his mind, the look Bella was giving the back of my head. I sighed and rested my forehand on the palms of my hands. "Neither Emmett. That's the look of suspicion. She's trying to figure out if I'm an alien."

"You can hear her now?"

"No. Just a guess." I probably wasn't that far off.

"So what's the deal with the Cullens?" My head automatically whipped toward Bella when she asked the question. When my eyes met hers she looked started and embarrassed, she quickly looked away.

_Real subtle Edward._ That was Emmett laughing on the inside.

"What do you mean? I told you they're adopted and that they're paired off." Jessica answered back.

"Yeah, but why are they always alone? I never see them talking to anyone else."

"Their 'holier than thou' attitude doesn't help."

Angela spoke up. "They're not that bad Jessica. I think people are intimidated. Last year I had the Hale twins in my French class, they were really nice when we had to do group work."

That was Angela for you: one of the few genuinely nice people in this school. What my siblings didn't hear, was that she thought good things about all of us, but only mentioned Rosalie and Jasper. Better those two than the rest of us. Rosalie was already in a better mood from her compliment and Jasper even softened in his speculative and hungry thoughts.

"The Cullens are freaks." Great, Mike had to put in his two cents. "Especially Edward. He's the weirdest of them all."

"How?" Bella asked.

"He's like this know-it-all. He answers every question correctly in class and only gets perfect scores."

"He's weird because he's smart?" Her voice sounded annoyed.

"And none of them play sports. They all finished gym at some out of state summer school too. Our football team could seriously use a guy as big as Emmett, but no. The Cullen freaks drag him home every afternoon."

Emmett burst out laughing all of a sudden. Catching the attention of half the cafeteria and all of Bella's lunch table. Rosalie elbowed him in the side. "Keep in down."

"I never thought I was one they wanted." He waggled his brows at us, "You freaks are dragging me down."

I rolled my eyes. This was a small fact I had been hiding from Emmett for years and Jasper helped out by not telling him that out of all of us, people were the least nervous around him. The irony of the situation wasn't lost to us. The biggest and scariest looking one of us, and people just saw him as a big teddy bear.

The rest of lunch was uneventful. The topic of conversation at Bella's table had changed to safer territory. Our prop food had been demolished into picked at and torn apart pieces, but never actually ingested. The students began filtering out of the large room and my siblings went off pair in pair. I was left at the table alone.

Maybe I should skip bio today. It wasn't like I was learning anything new in there. As long as I got that perfect score Mike was talking about, Mr. Molina wouldn't bring up my cutting class with anyone else.

While I seriously considered going to my car and listening to some music, I heard footsteps approaching me. I knew exactly who it was when I finally turned toward them.

"So are you coming?" Bella peered down at me with her questioning brown eyes.

"I was considering my options."

She frowned, "What? You're going to ditch bio?"

"Maybe."

"How are you going to help me with all the school work you dropped off yesterday?" She paused a moment in her words then continued. "Or am I the reason why you're considering cutting class?"

"Oh you're not that bad. I'm sure I can deal with you as a lab partner." I tried to be light and teasing about it, anything to distract her.

But she seemed undeterred. "I was thinking maybe you were worried I was going to ask more questions about what happened yesterday."

"Are you?" I let a small smile tilt my lips.

"Probably."

For someone who accused me of dazzling my way through life, she was having none of it. How did I do it usually? I obviously didn't know where the switch was. I guess that's not entirely true, I just didn't know how to dazzle her.

"It was an adrenaline rush." That was a plausible explanation. They say a mother could lift a car off a distressed child if adrenaline kicked in -or so the usual tidbit went.

Her frown grew deeper. "That's worse than my radioactive spider theory."

"Superhero stuff?" I stood up. Maybe I could intimidate her away from the topic. "Maybe I'm the villain."

She shook her head. "If you were the villain you wouldn't have protected me yesterday."

I sighed in defeat. "Will you drop it if I go to class today?"

She furrowed her brows then nodded. "For today." She pointed at my chest, "But I will figure you out Edward Cullen."

I couldn't help my grin. "Same to you Isabella Swan."

She blushed at my words. Turning to exit she gestured to follow her to class. "Did I just dazzle you?"

"You know you did." She narrowed her eyes at me. "You need to put a safety on that thing."

I let out a chuckle. "I find you very hard to read Bella. You're going to need to tell me when I'm dazzling you so I know when to stop."

"How about most of the time?" She mumbled under her breath. If my hearing wasn't so acute I never would have heard it. I decided to spare her and pretend I didn't.

When we entered the classroom together I could hear the hushed whispers around the room about my companion. From what I gathered the girls were worried I was finally showing interest in someone, and the boys were worried I asked Bella to the dance already. Little did they know the actual story: Bella was the detective trying to solve the mystery of the boy who bounced off of a speeding car; and I was the villain imagining how I would drink and savor every drop of blood from her body.

Once we took our seats Mr. Molina, the ever exuberant science teacher, made his way over to us. "Nice to see you back Bella. I was beginning to worry you two would never actually work as lab partners." He gave her a reassuring smile, "And you can turn in the homework Edward compiled for you sometime next week."

"Thanks Mr. Molina."

He gave me a knowing look, "And I trust you'll help her with it?"

"Of course Mr. Molina." This teacher was one of those rare instructors that truly loved what he did for a living. When he wasn't trying to engage his students in the wonders of biology, he was promoting team work and partnership. If you didn't know any better, you would think he believed that lab partners were a police partnership. We were expected to watch each other's back.

"Good." His voice increased in volume to address the rest of the class. "Today, we're going to be watching _Lorenzo's Oil_. Be sure to pay attention, because this will be an intro to our section of genetic disorders."

The lights were dimmed and the movie started. I was surprised there was still a working VCR on the school grounds to run the overplayed videotape. I spent the rest of the hour observing Bella, who sat rigidly on her stool as she reacted to the emotional highs and lows of the screening film. This wasn't exactly a thriller that kept you on the edge of your seat. If I could look into her head, I could find the reason to her tenseness. I suspected that her human nature was kicking in.

Humans always had a predictable reaction to vampires. It was as if they knew, innately, that there was something off about us. That was the real reason behind people's aversion of my family. Humans could sense there was something very wrong with us. They were the prey, and we were the perfect predator.

With only ten minutes left before the bell rang to release us from class, Bella slumped forward and laid her head on the table. She turned her head to press her right ear on the black surface, she was facing me now. Her eyes were closed and her breathing deep. With each passing breath past her lips I was overcome with the onslaught of the delectable scent. However, I was able to trample that down my thirst as I leaned over to her.

"You okay there Bella?" I whispered so no one else could hear.

"Yeah. I guess I'm not completely over my flu yet." Her eyes remained closed as she scooted her head closer toward me. I frowned at the movement, she was seeking the coolness of the table after it warmed up beneath her skin.

I reached tentative fingers forward and felt her forehead. In response, she let out a relieved sigh. She was burning up. "Your hand feels nice."

"You have a fever." I clasped her left hand that sat innocently between us on the table. "Are you sleepy?"

Her eyes blinked open slowly. "A little. I think I'm just tired. I should have stayed home today."

"Wait right here." I ducked away from my seat and made my way to the back of the class where Mr. Molina was keeping himself busy by grading papers. "Mr. Molina?"

He looked up from the red marked paper. "Yes Edward?"

"It's Bella. I don't think she's feeling well." I gestured to my slouched over lab partner. "I don't think she's over her flu quiet yet. Do you mind if I take her to the nurse's office?"

"Oh by all means." He glanced at his watch. "Take your things with you. You can just head to your next class after you drop her off."

"Thanks Mr. Molina."

Going back to my seat I gathered my and Bella's things and slung her bag over my shoulder. I securely gripped her upper arm. "Come on, we're busting out of here."

She leaned her weight against me as she stood up. Her eyes were open just enough for her to not run into anything. "You're turning out to be my partner in crime. First the hospital, now Molina's bio class."

We hardly caught the attention of the movie engrossed students as I led us out the door. "Both times we had permission, so I wouldn't consider this exactly Clint Eastwood's _Escape from Alcatraz_."

"So where are you taking me?" At her words my mind realized we were alone in the vacant hallway. I could easily drag her to the woods by the school and drain her. I shook the thought away.

"Nurse's office."

She shook her head. "Take me to my truck. I have gym after this. It'll be safer for everyone if I didn't go."

"You're not driving like this." She could tell me that it was the flu, but I knew better. Carlisle told me her condition. My encyclopedia knowledge alone would tell me her sleepiness and fever were symptoms of her tumor. Her hypothalamus was experiencing too much pressure and couldn't control her core temperature.

"If I go the nurse's office they're just going to make me sleep on an uncomfortable cot for the next period." Her right arm unconsciously griped onto my shirt to keep balance. "I rather sleep it off in my uncomfortable truck."

I thought her proposition over. Noticing we were passing my locker I paused. I made the very deliberate decision of leaving my car keys in my locker. Using only my left hand, I placed the keys inside for Alice to find later and shut the metal door. All the while Bella looked at me with confusion. "I'm driving you home."

"But your class, your siblings..." I respected her attempt to convince me, not that she was able to put all her voracious effort into it.

"I have Spanish next, and just between you me, I'm fluent." I told her in a conspiring tone. "And Alice will know to grab the keys from my locker when she doesn't see me at my car."

Taking her progressively weakening state I looped my arms behind her back and took on a more stable hold.

"You know, they might be wrong about you."

I chuckled at her statement; little did she know how right her cautious classmates were. "You think so?"

"Yeah. You're not as bad as Mike lets on. I don't know about the rest of your family, but you and Dr. Cullen don't seem that bad." She titled her head to glance up at me through droopy eyes. "Even if you are being secretive about your super strength."

"Adrenaline rush." I corrected.

"Yeah, yeah."

Reaching the parking lot I helped her stumble to the passenger side of her truck. I could just have easily carried her, but I knew she would fight me on it and I was still trying to deny my strength. Then again, carrying this slip of a girl wasn't exactly qualifying me for the Ironman competition.

I buckled her into the ancient rusted truck. It was a wonder how she didn't get tetanus from driving this thing every day.

"Aren't we going to get in trouble for leaving without telling anyone?"

I made my way around the truck and settled myself into the driver's seat. "You're worried about getting in trouble?"

"I don't do well with authority figures." She mumbled out.

"I'll take the rap." I started the ignition and it rattled to life.

"You need to double pump the clutch." She pointed out. "You do know how to drive a manual right?"

I laughed, "I can drive anything Bella."

"Mr. Overconfident here." Her eyes slipped closed, "Just don't push her too much, she starts shaking violently when you hit fifty-five miles per hour."

I snigger at her comment and pulled out of the school lot. From what I could tell, Bella was dozing off to sleep. The truck rumbled through the streets to her house. It was beginning to rain now.

I was surprised to see that the truck made it in one piece all the way to her house. Cutting the engine, I looked over at the sleeping passenger and then through the windshield at the pouring rain. I could wake her and help her to the door, which would no doubt lead to her tripping at least twice. Or I could carry her there while she was still asleep and get her in before she even got remotely wet.

I chose the latter option and slipped in through the door with the keys I fished out of her bag. The screen door slammed shut noisily behind me. I cringed, I should have watched for the loud door.

She startled awake and whipped her head around. "Oh God. Did I fall asleep?"

"Yeah, you were snoring and everything."

She frowned at my comment and tried to wiggle out of my hold. "I don't snore. And set me down, I can walk to the couch."

"You better rest up in your bed. Upstairs right?"

"Charlie would have a cow if he knew a boy from school went into my room."

"Good thing I'm not a boy from school." At her furrowed brow I grinned, "I'm your lab partner."

"I can make it up the stairs on my own." She reasoned.

"You can barely make it across a smooth surface without tripping over dust on a good day. I don't know if you're up for a full flight of stairs." I started climbing to the second floor. "Anyways, I don't know if my father will forgive me if I just stood back and watched as you tumbled down the steps."

She sighed. "Look, I know this prince charming and savior act is only happening because Dr. Cullen told you to be nice to me."

"Because of a bad case of the flu? My father is compassionate, but he's not throwing a pity party for his young patients." Reaching the top of the steps I looked down at her. "So which door?"

I knew exactly which door led to her bedroom, but I couldn't very well explain to her that I could smell my way to her door. No, that didn't sound creepy at all.

She hesitated to answer me, so I pressed on. "What's wrong?"

"I'm trying to remember if my room is clean enough to show the general public."

"I promise not to judge." When she still looked unsure I added, "If it makes you feel better, my mother complains about how untidy I am." This was a lie.

"First door on your left." She finally gave in. Once I crossed the threshold she wiggled again, this time I set her down gently. "Thanks."

"No problem." She plopped down on her bed and pulled off her boots and jacket.

As she continued getting comfortable to climb into her bed I glanced around the room and settled on the usually safe bookcase. It was packed to the brim with well-read books, mostly the canon. "I'm assuming you like the classics."

"Huh?" She looked up from where she was tugging back her sheets to climb in. "Oh, yeah. There's this list."

"A list?"

"It was in the paper three years ago. It was a list of one hundred greatest books to read before you die. And I've been making my through it." She settled under her covers. "I'm hoping to finish the list before I turn eighteen."

Her self-imposed deadline probably had more to do with the expiration date that the doctors gave her than anything else. I picked up a wrinkled page of a newspaper that was set on the bookcase. There were multiple folds on it indicating frequent use. I glanced over the list and back to the books. "Who came up with the list?"

"I don't know. Probably some stuffy old English professors in tweed jackets with elbow patches."

"You're almost done." She was only two books shy of having the complete collection.

"As of two days ago I only have two books left to read, but I just can't find them."

"Can't find them?" I raised a brow. "These aren't exactly rare books. I'm sure any major book store carries them."

"I have this rule." She seemed embarrassed to admit to it. "I only read books on that list that are second-hand. They don't have to be first editions or anything like that, but I want them to be already read. I feel like there's a sense of history, and I'm sharing the experience with whoever read it before me."

"So you've struck out at used book stores for the last two?"

"Used book stores, library, flea market, garage sales, you name it. I'm not sure why, I think maybe I'm just unlucky."

I looked over the cracked spines of all the books she poured over in the past few years. This must have been her distraction as she was shuttled from one hospital to another. However, the way she paced herself with the books bothered me. She was perfectly spacing them out so that she would be on her final book when thirty-six months lapsed.

She snuggled into her covers and let out sigh of relief. Seeing her relaxed form I set the list back down. "I guess I'll see you Monday then Bella."

I turned to leave but her soft voice called back to me. "Edward?"

I stopped at the doorway and glanced back. "Yes?"

"I think I'll be better by Sunday." She bit her lip as she appeared to work up the courage to continue. "I was hoping I could cash in that rain check for help with my homework."

I couldn't help but smile. I had been expecting not seeing her for two days, something I inexplicability dreaded. I think I can go a day. Yes, that was much more bearable.

"Sure. What time should I swing by?"

She thought it over, "After lunch, so two-ish?"

"Works for me. I'll see you then." I reached for the door. "Feel better Bella. I'll lock the front door behind me."

"Thanks Edward. I really appreciate it. I promise not to be too sick next time." At her whispered and drowsy response I shut the door and left the house soon after.

When I returned home I went in through the entrance at my room. It wasn't that I was avoiding anyone. Okay, that was a lie. I was avoiding everyone save for Jasper. Alice and her visions, I didn't want to know the result of some of the decision I made today. Emmett and his lewd comments. Rosalie and her automatic dislike of Bella. Esme and her unconditional acceptance of the situation. And Carlisle, especially Carlisle. He was the man who served as a reminder of Bella's mortality.

Shucking my coat off, I searched over my pile of books. Fishing out the two I was looking for I set it aside. I hit the play button on my stereo and collapsed into my black leather couch. The music drifted through the room. Hours passed before anyone even thought to bother me.

Carlisle's knock finally broke through my sanctum sometime late Friday night. Sitting up on the couch I called out after I dialed down the volume of the stereo with the remote. "Come in."

He walked in calmly and remained standing. He kept silent: mentally and vocally. If he wasn't going to start the inevitable conversation I would have to.

"Alice told you everything."

He nodded at my statement. _About the present and the future._

"I want you to stop right there." I raised my hand, "This is the first time in my existence that I don't want to know everything about my future."

_Because you look forward to it or because you fear it? I'm worried about you getting too close to her, especially if you have no plans of-_

"Stop Carlisle. Stop."

"Edward. You need to think about these things." He stepped forward. "She only has months left."

"Then let me get to know her during that time." I implored.

"I'm afraid... we're afraid we're going to lose you if you get too attached." He sat down next to me, "Are you even thinking about what to do when the time comes? You know there's nothing we can do near the Quileute tribe."

"I know." I growled, "I know you're all worried. But that's not my decision to make and I can't do that to her."

"Okay." His voice was a whisper and he lightly patted my hunched forward back.

My hands covered my face as I tried to ignore the reality of my situation. It was easy to forget that Bella was sick. I was quickly growing strongly attached to a person I barely knew, and I would not have the chance to get to know her the way someone really should.

"I'm not in love with her." I admitted truthfully.

Carlisle stood up and walked toward the door. _But you find yourself falling._

I let out an exasperated breath after being left alone. These were heavy thoughts I didn't usually have to worry about. Granted, I was known to be a brooder but before I pondered over my immortality and ongoing struggle to maintain a vegetarian diet. Now, I was dragging an unsuspecting girl into my crushing orbit. The worst of it was that she had no idea.


	4. Secrets Untold

Author Notes: This is a longer chapter, and since I'm posting faster than I'm writing, I've decided to slow down updates from here. Like I mentioned before, a lot of this is already written but not the majority of it. Read and review!

**Disclaimer: The **_**Twilight**_** world and all characters depicted are a creation of author, Stephenie Meyers.**

**Secrets Untold**

By Hoshi-ni-Onegai

I needed a distraction.

I climbed downstairs to find Emmett and Jasper playing on the Xbox. Rosalie was flipping through a magazine off to the side and Alice was shopping online on her laptop. Esme was arranging some flowers in the kitchen.

Calling out to my brothers would do little to no good, so I stepped directly in front of their game.

Emmett yelled, "Get out of the way Edward."

Jasper was less hostile, "What's up Edward?" _He's just annoyed because I was beating him._

"I need to get out of here." At their confused look I elaborated, "Out of Forks. I need to clear my head."

"Hunt?" Emmett suggested.

I nodded in response and the three of us were out the door before anyone could say otherwise. I needed this. These were my brothers that kept things simple. If I had hung back with Alice she would keep asking about Bella. Esme would probably ask when I was bringing her by. Rosalie probably wouldn't ask about her, but if Bella came up in conversation I can't imagine she would have anything nice to say.

The three of us decided on Oregon to go after some bigger game. I mostly just served as wingman as they went after their prey, but it was liberating nonetheless. I was still feeling uncomfortably full from too much feeding in the past week.

It was late Sunday morning when we got back to Forks. During my entire time away I was able to keep my mind relatively clear. I did, however, keep the time in mind to come back for my study session with Bella.

I decided I needed a shower. I had the habit of skipping bathing since my kind did not sweat, but a day long hunt with my rambunctious brothers got me filthy. Tossing my muddied clothes into the hamper I took my time showering. I still had a few hours to kill before two.

I scrubbed my skin and hair thoroughly as the hot water washed over me. It was the first time in hours that I was alone, and the looming dark thoughts kept tugging at the edges. How was it possible that I was able to keep them away for so long, but now I was spinning them over in my head again?

Stepping out of the steaming shower I towel dried my hair and tried to shake away my ominous thoughts. I sighed. I wouldn't be the coward hiding away. This was my first real act of bravery -spending time alone with Bella. I was confident enough to know I wouldn't kill her. Bella was no longer an unsuspecting cow out for pasture, she was someone I liked. A girl I liked.

A few short hours later I found myself knocking on her front door. The door was quickly opened and I was met with her scent again. I still needed a great deal of self control to prevent my killing her, but my desire to spend time with her was overpowering.

"Edward Cullen." Her whisper sounded nervous.

I tried calming her with a reassuring smile. "I told you, call me Edward. Only the Jessica Stanleys of the world call me by my full name all the time."

"Jessica?" She tilted her head in question.

"She refers to my entire family by our full name. Alice Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Jasper and Rosalie Hale. Like we're celebrities or something."

"You kind of are." She glanced around me then gestured to step in. "You walked here?"

"Alice is borrowing my car." Which wasn't a lie, but I volunteered it when she said she was making a trip to Seattle. I figured without a car I could make a quick getaway if I suddenly needed to. "It's not too bad of a walk."

I followed her into the living room where I could see schoolwork scattered all across the coffee table. She pointed for me to sit on the couch as she chose a seat conspicuously far away from me.

"I guess nothing is much of a walk in Forks." She gathered some of the papers and shoved it into the folder I gave her the other day. "I got through most of this yesterday."

"You did homework on a Saturday?" From what I knew about contemporary teens, procrastination was a key to survival.

"Yeah, well the moment Charlie found me in bed with a temperature of one-o-one, I was exiled to my room." She tugged out a blank worksheet from the pile. "I didn't get to history though. If I was smart about it I would have left bio, but I was dreading what Ms. Miller assigned so I kept putting it off. But I figured you must know a lot about history right?"

Her tone was accusing, as if she was testing me. I cautiously questioned in return. "What's the topic?"

Her brown eyes narrowed slightly. "The American civil war."

"I know what I learned in class." Or what decades of reading and first-hand accounts from Jasper told me. "But I'm sure I can help, I took American history last year."

Bella continued to observe my movements. "You sure about that?"

"Pretty sure. I am taking European history this year." She raised a brow at me. "Let me take a look at it."

She passed me the worksheet carefully. Seeing the paper I recognized it instantly. I had Ms. Miller last year, and teachers had a tendency to reuse the same material every year. We spent the next hour doing the worksheet; it wasn't very difficult, just time consuming.

Once the last question was filled out Bella stood up. "I'm getting a drink. Did you want something? We have soda, lemonade, water... beer?"

I laughed at her last offer. "I'm fine, thanks."

Her speculative eyes narrowed once again. "Thought so."

As Bella left the room I considered the last hour. She was looking and talking to me as if she suspected something -something that made me extremely nervous. Subtlety seemed lost to her since she acted like a small child who just found out Santa didn't exist but ran into the man in red on Christmas Eve. I would take note of that, Bella made for a terrible liar.

Getting up from my seat I walked to the kitchen where she was drinking a glass of water.

"Bella?"

I hadn't meant to startle her, but she jumped at my voice and the glass slipped from her grasp. I shouldn't have reacted as quickly as I did. I was across the room immediately and caught it before it crashed into shards on the floor. I don't know whose eyes were wider.

"N-nice catch." Her voice shook.

"I used to be a shortstop." I quickly explained. Maybe too quickly.

"Oh. Well. I guess that explains it." I could tell she wasn't convinced.

"I have to go." I needed to leave before she could ask any more questions. Setting the glass on the counter, I spun around and headed back to the living room. "I'll see you class then?"

"What, already?" She trailed after me to the other room.

I grabbed my coat and small brown wrapped package I had brought with me. I shoved the package into her hands. "Here."

I kept walking toward the front door until I felt a grip on my shirt when we were in the foyer. I could have easily pulled out of it. After all, could a butterfly stop a freight train?

I finally looked down at her as she asked a ridiculous question. "Is this a bomb?

"What?" Did she actually think I was trying to assassinate her in a government mission? I'd think even the most useless secret agents would be more suave than this.

"Anthrax?"

"Of course not."

"Okay, then stop trying to run out of here like the house is about to explode." She looked down at the package. "Can I open it?"

"Yes. It's a gift."

She frowned deeply at that. "Gift for what?"

"Don't worry, I didn't spend any money." I remained by the door. Even though the topic of conversation had changed, Bella was proving to be too focused to deter for very long.

Ripping back the brown paper and seeing the contents, her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "How did you..."

"That should be the last two."

"But I didn't tell you the titles." She traced the spine of the two leather bound books that were revealed from within the wrappings. "Where did you find these?"

"My bookshelf."

Her grin took me by surprise. "Thank you. I promise I'll return them in the same shape they are now."

I shouldn't have melted at this young woman's smile. I was accustomed to being around vampires that were far too charming for their own good. Bella had advised me in putting a safety on my dazzle, yet she obviously had no idea the power she held. "No, keep them. It's a gift."

"You don't need to give me anything." I was starting to get the feeling that she didn't receive gifts well.

"Well, since you said you wanted to finish all one hundred books before you turned eighteen, consider it an early birthday gift."

"Which is eight months away."

I could she was relenting. "Then I'll get you something else for your birthday."

Her previously sweet smile turned tragic. She tried to catch her expression and maintained her upturned lips. "Don't worry about it. I move a lot, I might not even be in Forks by then."

Oh God I'm an ass. I could be forgiven if I didn't know about her terminal condition, but I knew. I was more than aware; her end date was a large part of my current dilemma. She didn't know that I knew about the tumor so she would be nice and skim over it. But I couldn't exonerate myself for reminding her. Bella didn't expect to be alive when she turned eighteen.

I blatantly glanced at my watch. "Actually, I have more time than I thought. Do you want to go for a walk?"

She stared at me for a moment then laughed. "Sure. Let me go get my coat."

I waited on the front step until she came out and locked the door behind her. Her smile remained. As I walked down the steps I finally asked, "What were you laughing at?"

Catching up to me at the bottom of steps she shook her head still smiling and letting out a light giggle. "You."

"Me?" I felt self-conscious in that moment. Was I acting like a ridiculous buffoon?

"Sorry, it's just not that many people invite a recent recouped flu victim on a walk in January."

"Oh God, you're right. Let's go back inside." What the hell was I trying to do? Send her to an even earlier grave?

"No, it's fine." Her smile widened. "I was getting a little stir-crazy in there. I haven't stepped out of that house for about forty-eight hours."

"Just tell me if you start feeling even remotely unwell."

"Will do partner." She kept pace with the slow steps I took for her benefit. "So what did you do yesterday?"

"I went hiking with my brothers." The usual response I gave when someone asked about our disappearance because of hunting trips. I led us to walk the small forest trail that started near the tree line of her home.

"Really? I never would have pegged you as the outdoorsy type."

I'm sure her hypothesis was based on my paleness. "I actually spend a good deal of time outdoors." She laughed again. "Now what?"

She shook her head, "Sorry, it's just you sometimes sound like a character from a Fitzgerald novel."

Bella was too observant. "Well aren't I just swell and neat." Maybe using vernacular from the wrong era will throw her off.

Judging by the suspicious look on her face, I probably had the opposite effect. I was thankful when she suddenly changed the subject. "Guess who came by to see me yesterday."

This was an odd request. Bella's social circle did not interact with my siblings. Whoever actually visited her was most likely not a mutual acquaintance. "Angela Weber?"

"She visited me in the hospital. The only one to visit actually." She said a bit forlornly.

That's when I decided. I would spend the next few months doing all I can to make Bella comfortable. I would never let her feel alone or lonely.

"I visited." I pointed out. "Twice."

"How could I forget?" She considered her response for a moment. "But then again I think you were there to see your dad more than me that first time."

"Well, I'll just consider it a happy accident then." I caught her arm when her foot jammed into a lifted root. "So who came to visit?"

She mumbled a quick thanks and righted herself. She looked at me purposefully when she spoke next. "Jacob Black."

The name sounded familiar. My siblings and I were known as aloof at school, but I knew all the students' names. Before I could dig any further into my mind to figure out where I heard the name before she clarified.

"He's a family friend." That did little to shed light on the identity of the person. "His dad is one of the Quileute elders."

If I had any color to lose, it would be gone from my face. She knew. Holy crap she knew. I plastered on a curious smile. "That was nice of him to visit."

"Yeah. And he told me these stories about his tribe."

She knew. She knew because the elders forgot to tell the little ones that the treaty was real. "The tribal legends?"

"Yeah. They were..." Bella's eyes peeked up at me. "Informative."

She knew. She's going to go running for the hills the moment I confirmed it. "What were they about?"

"Werewolves."

Wait, what? This Jacob Black spilled about his own tribe's secret? "Werewolves? Like silver bullet and howling at the full moon werewolf?" I hope that sounded as skeptical and convincing as I hoped.

Judging by the raised brow I doubt it did. "Not really. Something about people shape shifting into wolves when their enemies were close to the tribe's lands."

"Enemies?" I should stop this conversation before it went any further. Stop the conversation and go home. Tell my family to pack up and leave town immediately. But leaving town would mean leaving Bella. Wasn't it only a few second ago that I had promised myself not to leave her alone? "Like an enemy tribe or something?"

We were far enough into the woods that we couldn't see her house anymore. The skyscraping trees loomed around us. We were cocooned in a scenery of rich green and brown. Bella walked a few steps ahead of me and stopped. She turned to look me squarely in the face.

"The Cullens. The Quileute tribe's enemy is the Cullen clan." Her chocolate eyes were unflinching as they gripped my amber ones. "Just like the folktales."

"What do you think you know Bella?" I wouldn't be the one to say it. If I still had any chance of writing this off I was going to do just that.

"You're impossibly fast and strong. You never eat or drink anything." She took one calculated step closer. "And your skin is pale white and ice cold."

I remained silent.

"Can I ask one question?" I could only give a slight nod in response. "How old are you?"

My eyes never broke contact with hers. "Seventeen."

She took in what I can only assume was a calming breath. "How long have you been seventeen?"

"A while." It was the truth, but I couldn't tell her the whole truth. Not yet.

"I know what you are." Then, she added. "And I won't tell anyone."

I studied her face, but again I couldn't read anything. "What am I?"

Bella took another step forward. Her breath shivered, but I didn't know whether it was from the cold or fear. She was dangerously close. "Vampire."

There it was: the word that sealed my fate and hers. She has no idea what she's done. There would be no turning back now.

We were no longer just boy and girl. We were predator and prey. Lion and lamb.

This was the end.

"I'm not afraid of you." Her voice and the shy hand clasping my own yanked me out of my spiraling thoughts.

I didn't have the willpower to pull my hand away. Instead, I let my fingers lace through hers. "You should be."

"You've only been nice to me." She thought it over and shook her head, "Well, except for the first day we met. You were a bit of an ass."

She was trying to lighten the mood. There was nothing light about this situation. "I think you're forgetting about what I eat."

"You won't hurt me." Her voice was steady and confident.

"How can you be so sure?" I wasn't.

She smiled. "If you were going to kill me then you wouldn't help me with my homework, give me books as gifts, and you would have done it when I couldn't fight back with my fever."

"You can't fight back now." I'm a monster.

"I know."

"I could snap you like a twig." And I've considered it.

"I know." She shrugged, "You bounced off a car. I have a tough time opening a pickle jar."

"How can you trust me?" I've imagined every possible way there is to kill her.

"Because aside from Angela, who I'm starting to think may have been a saint in past life, you're the first person in Forks being a true friend." My eyes soften at her words. "I know I'm new here and I was hospitalized by my fifth day, but it's nice to know there are people like you."

"Like me?" A vampire?

"That I'm not 'out of sight, out of mind' and you kept me company and you've been nice to me."

"I think that's part of the problem Bella. I can't keep you out of my mind, I'm not good company to keep, and if I were a better person I would be horrible to you so you would stay away from me."

"I could say the same exact thing about myself concerning you." Her grip on my hand tightened as if looking for reassurance. "You know my secret don't you?"

I took an unnecessary gulp then slowly nodded in the affirmative.

She shrugged it off like it was the weather. "I'm assuming your entire family is like you."

"Yeah."

"I knew it. Everyone said you were all adopted and not blood related, but there was something aside from skin tone and eye color that was so similar." She grinned. "Maybe it's all that dazzle."

How had she so quickly turned the conversation back to me? "Carlisle, I know he broke doctor-patient confidentiality, but I would have eventually found out. So don't be mad at him."

"I'm not mad at him. Could anyone seriously be upset with Dr. Cullen?" Bella laughed, "So what would have given me away? Do I smell sick?"

"No, you actually smell nice." That was the understatement of the century -and I would know. "I have this ability."

"To detect tumors?"

"I can read minds." I admitted. When I saw her face turn red and a look of mortification and panic cross her features, I quickly added. "All minds, apart from yours. I get nothing from you and I find it very frustrating."

Her face had calmed to a light blush. "Is there something wrong with me?"

I couldn't stop myself from laughing. It wasn't a laugh that hid something or one of conceit. It was a genuine one that bubbled up from within me. It has been so long since I truly laughed. "You find out I'm a mindreading vampire and you think there's something wrong with you?"

"I'm glad I amuse you." Despite her words she continued smiling.

My laugh halted when I felt her grip tighten on my hand. Her eyes closed and I could feel her putting the majority of her weight on our clasped hands. Spotting a fallen log to our side I motioned for her to sit.

"Sorry." She took a seat with her hand still holding mine, and then slowly blinked her eyes open.

"You're apologizing? For what? The tumor pressing on your hypothalamus?"

She chuckled. "I guess."

"I need to get you back to the house." I would never forgive myself if she caught an actual flu because I was stupid enough to take her on a walk.

"Not yet. I want to spend a little more time out here. With you."

If my heart beat, it would have skipped a few. There was no doubt in my mind now. Bella Swan would be the end of me.

"So when did you find out?" She asked, and I tilted my head at her question. "About my tumor."

"After I bought you the pudding cup." It was odd to think that those were simpler times. The moral dilemma I faced was still something I could easily process. Now, things were different.

"I'm glad." She admitted, "That pudding cup was when I started liking you."

"I guess sixty-five cents goes far these days." I would swing by the grocery store later and by dozens of pudding cups if that's what she wanted.

"It's nice to know you were being friendly before finding out I was dying." She glanced up at me. "You do know I'm terminal right?"

I sat down on the open section of the log next to her. "I know."

"So you know I only have few months left."

I worried that my grip on her hand would crush her. I need to keep hold of her, lest she fade away right here. "I'm aware."

"So you also know I'm being a terrible person by hanging out with you." Her tone was solemn and apologetic.

"I'm not sure what you mean." I don't think it is possible for Bella to be a terrible person to anyone.

"I'll be dead within the next six months, probably sooner. I shouldn't get attached to friends."

Little did she know that I was too far gone to turn back now. "Don't worry about that."

"No you don't get it. This is a lot easier for me, I'm the one leaving."

"Did you just say that dying was easier?" Her thought process was absurd.

She closed her eyes again, possibly another dizzy spell. She leaned her head on my shoulder and let out a sigh. "Can you promise me something?"

"Anything." When the word spilled from me I didn't know what she would ask. If I knew the fact I wouldn't be able to keep my promise was inevitable, I still would have made it.

"Don't get attached to me. I guess that's a little presumptuous." She let out a tired laugh, "Why would a centuries old vampire that could grace the covers of GQ like me right?"

"I think you think I'm a lot older than I really am." I let the thumb of our clasped hands trace her palm. "And I'm already quite fond of you Bella."

"Liar." She faintly whispered out.

Feeling her form slump onto mine I gathered her in my arms. "I need to get you back inside."

"Banished to the bed again." She sighed and snuggled further into my arms. "You're like a walking cooling pad."

"Maybe I should get patented?" I walked us back the way we came.

"I know a few cancer patients that would want one."

This was a repeat of two days ago. I was again carrying a weak and feverish Bella to her bed. I carefully tucked her into her covers. When I turned to leave she tugged on my arm and gestured for me to sit on the edge of the bed next to her. She took my hand to press it against her forehead and sighed.

Bella was turning out to be much more fragile than her first impression. Before she was a soap bubble that I needed to control my strength with; now she was a snowflake that could only be observed. But she didn't seem to be having any of that as any contact we made seemed initiated by her.

"Should you be going to school like this?" I tried to keep the worry out of my voice but I knew I failed.

"And what? Stay in bed all day?" Her eyes fluttered open and focused on my face. "I don't want to spend my last days alone. And I can't ask Charlie or my mom to sit around with me. I know the kids at school barely know me, but they also don't know I'm sick. So they don't treat me like I'm a dying leper."

"Don't you worry about me doing that?"

"It'll be nice to have a buddy at school, someone to confide in." She attempted her best grin in her drowsy state. "And I know you won't tell because I have an even bigger secret on you."

Despite her joking tone, I knew she was serious. I used my other hand to brush back an unruly lock of her hair. "I trust you with it."

"Ditto." Judging by her slurred words I could tell I was losing her to sleep. "Can I ask you for a favor Edward?"

"Sure."

"Can you stick around until my temperature goes down? I don't want Charlie freaking out again. If he caught me with a fever I won't be allowed to go to school for at least two days." Her lids proved to be too heavy and finally slid shut. "Feel free to leave if you have something else to do."

"I won't. I'll stay." I'm not sure if she heard my response as her breathing slowed indicating she fell asleep.

I stuck around for next few hours. I periodically switched my hands as they were warmed by the fever seeping from her. Even as Charlie returned home and checked in on her I stayed. I quickly stashed myself in her closet as he stepped into the room balancing a tray with a bowl and glass of water. Setting the tray down on the nightstand, he gently felt her forehead and cheek then let out a breath of relief.

He lightly tapped her shoulder to wake her. "Bells."

She crinkled her nose then opened her eyes. "Charlie?"

"You feeling okay? You don't seem to have a temperature." He sat down on the bed next to her.

"Yeah, it's a good day. I was just a little sleepy." Seeing the skeptical look on his face she added, "Just wanted to get some rest so I could go to school tomorrow."

"You don't have to push yourself Bells. I can stay home."

She shook her head. "No, school will good for me. It gives me a reason to stay strong."

"Okay." He sounded defeated, as if he was used to losing this argument. "I made some soup."

She let out a small laugh, "You made soup?"

"Okay, so I opened a can and warmed it up. At least the kitchen is in one piece." He helped her sit up and lifted the tray to set on her lap.

"Chicken and stars, you know how to spoil a girl." She smiled broadly and picked up the spoon.

"It's all you would eat as a little girl." He combed his fingers through her hair. "What were you up to today?"

She took a careful sip, and then answered. "Dr. Cullen's son came by to help me with my homework."

"Cullen's boy? Which one? The big one?" His protective fatherly tone leaked into his words.

She chuckled around another spoonful. "No, the youngest one: Edward. He's my lab partner in Mr. Molina's biology class."

"That was nice of him." His brows furrowed. "He didn't try anything did he?"

She shook her head and smiled. "He was a perfect gentleman."

Charlie remained quiet as she finished her meal and gulped down the tall glass of water. She smacked her lips, "Best meal this side of the Mississippi."

"I'll let Campbell know." He gathered the tray and stood up. "Are you sure you're up for school tomorrow?"

"Definitely. I want to see my friends."

He nodded in understanding and made his way toward the door. He glanced back before shutting the door, "Night Bells."

"Night Charlie."

Once the door shut she peeled back her covers and pulled herself out of bed. She made the gesture of unbuttoning her pants, and before I saw something she had not said I could I stepped out of the closet. I let the door purposefully creek open.

She stopped her movements and whipped her gaze toward me. She backed away startled. "Edward."

"Sorry, I hadn't left yet. I didn't want Charlie catching me in here with his daughter fast asleep."

She calmed and smiled. "You didn't leave."

"I said I wouldn't."

"I think my temperature went down." She sat down on the bed again. "I'll make it to bio tomorrow for the second part of _Lorenzo's Oil_. I need to know what happens to that little boy."

"Good. I'm glad you're feeling better." I walked to her desk, quickly scribbled my cell phone number on a post-it and passed it to her. "If you need anything. Any time of day, and I mean that literally."

She looked down at the number and raised a brow. "No matter what you say I'm not waking you in the middle of the night."

"I don't sleep."

"Ever?"

"No. Not at all." I expected each new additional piece of information to be the breaking point. There was only so much a person can have confirmed about the monster that go bump in the night before they crack.

"What do you do then?" She seemed genuinely curious.

"I listen and play music. Oh, and a lot of reading."

"You've read my entire list haven't you?" She pointed to the crinkled newspaper article.

"I've read most of the books multiple times, and all of them at least once. But I couldn't get through _The Scarlet Letter_ more than once." I maintained my voice at an audible whisper. The last thing I needed was for Charlie to come charging up here -not that I wouldn't hear him coming.

"Did you read it when it first came out?"

I frowned at her question. "Are you making fun of me on purpose? I'm not that old."

She laughed. "Sorry. I just keep imagining you being alive in the Dark Ages."

"No. Definitely not."

"So how old are you?" She grinned as she asked.

I considered it for a moment, and decided against answering. "I'll tell you another time when you stop thinking I'm five hundred years old."

I moved toward the window, unlatched it, and pulled it open. I was met with a conspicuous creek.

"I guess I better WD-40 that thing." She said, "Are you going out the window?"

I nodded and smiled back before grabbing the windowsill. "I'll see you tomorrow Bella."

"See you Edward." I heard the quiet response as I slipped shut the window from the outside. I leapt down after sparing a brief glimpse back at the girl that was throwing my world off its access.

I sprinted to the hospital. Carlisle was working a late shift tonight and I needed to talk to him. Alice would surely share the details she knew with the rest of my family, but I needed Carlisle's advice and words before I heard anything from the rest of them.

I climbed in through the window of Carlisle's office. I didn't want to risk running into any of the chatty nurses. I waited standing in the office. I felt too restless to sit down. I played back the afternoon I spent with Bella, and mulled over what it meant.

Carlisle joined me only minutes later. He looked at me with the smile he always held. _I'm assuming you wanted to talk._

I nodded in response to his mental question. This was a routine that he was used to. If there ever was a time I needed to speak to him privately, I would go to his office and he would smell me there. He knew to come and expect to dole out some much needed advice.

_You were with Bella today._ It was a statement, not a question.

I braced myself. I know Carlisle will be understanding, but this was a line I had never crossed before.

"She knows. She figured it out herself."

He raised a brow at that. _I knew she was observant, but I had no idea._

"Ephraim Black's descendent, Jacob Black, told her the tribe's legends." At his pursed lips I added, "I don't think this was a blatant breach of the treaty. He probably thought they were just cautionary tales."

_I'm sure he meant no harm._ He walked over to his desk to sit on the edge. _How did she react?_

"Surprisingly well. She says she's not afraid of me, which makes me question her sanity a bit."

_I thought she would, take it well that is._ His smile was knowing, like he knew how this would turn out from the beginning.

"She said she wouldn't tell anyone."

_That's not something I was worried about._ He voiced his next question, "Did she ask?"

I knew exactly what he was talking about. "No."

He continued smiling. "I didn't think she would."

"She's the first person Carlisle." I finally allowed myself to sit down in the chair in front of his desk. I fisted my fingers in my hair. Bella is the first dying person who did not ask me to turn her into a vampire.

_You were expecting her to make the decision for you._

"No... Yes... I don't know." I felt defeated.

After earning my second medical degree I actually spent time practicing. I'm not sure if it was something about facing death, but some of the terminal patients I treated suddenly knew my true identity. It was if my immortality was mocking their near end. And all of them, without fail, would beg for me to change them. I would deny them every time.

From what Carlisle tells me, it also happens to him, the most memorable time being when my mother begged for my life instead of hers. Yet, Carlisle always pointed out that it was not something that happened to him as frequently as it did me.

My sixth year of practicing medicine I was met with an eleven year old girl that begged for me to change her. After the small girl died, I had to stop. Carlisle understood, like always. I couldn't go on denying immortality to the dying. I was faced with my hypocrisy and I ran.

"If she had asked, would you have denied her?" Carlisle's voiced ripped through my mind.

He may have attempted communicating through his thoughts, but I didn't hear him. My head was currently a dizzying impenetrable world. I looked up to see that he was no longer smiling. His expression was worried, but held no judgment.

"I've never changed anyone Carlisle. I don't know if I would have the strength to stop myself from draining all the blood." I exhaled deeply, "Especially with Bella."

"So what are we going to do?" He automatically included the entire family in my decision. I was spoiled. I had a father that would relocate us away from Forks at the first mention that I didn't want to stay.

"I promised myself something." He motioned for me to continue. "I'm not going to let her feel an ounce of loneliness. When her family isn't there and the students at Forks High forget her, I want to be there for her."

"Edward..." I knew from the way his voiced implored with only my name that he wanted me to reconsider.

"She called me her friend."

_What you want to do is noble, and I'm proud of you. But I worry what will happen after she passes. Will you be able to handle her death? I fear you may not be able to deal with it now, and you just begun knowing her._

"Charlie works long hours. Her mother is all the way in Seattle. Aside from Angela, people at school completely forgot about her." I looked into the eyes of the man that raised me for the majority of my existence. "She's alone most of the time. I can't leave her like that."

_Just answer me this one question Edward. Will I lose a son once Bella dies?_

I gave the only honest answer I had within me. "I don't know."

_Do you love her?_

Again, I gave the only honest answer I had. "I don't know."

_Okay_. Carlisle stood up and walked over to me. He clasped a hand on my shoulder and simply nodded. _I'll support whatever decision you make Edward. I just ask that you come to me before you make your final verdict._

"For permission?"

_No, just to tell me. I'm leaving her fate in your hands. I'll act only as her doctor._

"Can I be trusted with her fate?" I groaned. "What if I make the selfish choice?"

_I trust you son._

Carlisle's blind faith in me has been a constant through the decades. Even when I ran away to begin feeding on criminals he trusted my judgment. When I returned to him and Esme years later, I was only accepted with open arms. To this day, I don't think I deserved their unwavering forgiveness.

I left the hospital and wandered until I returned home sometime just barely before dawn. I heard Alice's warnings of Rosalie's mood before I stepped through the door.

Jasper was the first to greet me. _I'm keeping her calm, but it's Rosalie so she's still pretty angry._

"Thanks." Jasper was the only reason why we could attend a human high school by keeping us mellow, despite the fact that he was the one with the highest risk of losing control.

He followed me into the living room where Alice, Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie sat waiting on the sectional. Although Jasper was controlling the emotions in the room from boiling over, their thoughts were another matter.

Alice: _When can I meet her? We're going to be great friends. But you keep on saying no._

Sometimes conversations with Alice never takes place because she'll decide to have the discussion and she'll see the outcome. I'm assuming that's what she's talking about me saying no to her.

Esme: _I'm so happy for you Edward. You've been alone for so long._

According Esme I already made my decision. She was hoping we would all get paired off and live happily ever after. If Esme ruled the world, Disney movie endings were the only option.

Emmett: _So are you finally going to get laid?_

As much as I loved my brother, there were times when I wanted to beat him senseless.

Rosalie decided to voice her opinions. "You're putting all of us in danger. And now she knows?" Her voice was rising in volume with each passing word. "What if the Volturi find out?"

"I'll see if they do." Alice was consistently on my side. "And Bella made the decision to keep us a secret."

"Great. We're trusting a sixteen year old with a secret." Rosalie snapped. "The moment there's a lapse in lunchroom conversation we'll be exposed."

"Seventeen." Emmett corrected with a grin.

Rosalie responded to her husband with a glare. "This will end badly."

"You don't know that Rosalie." Esme tried to reason.

"Fine. Then tell me a way this ends well." Rosalie narrowed her eyes at her mother, and then directed her glare at me. _Are you going to damn her to this existence? Or are you going to fall apart after you let her die?_

As biting as her comments were and as much as we argued, Rosalie never failed to act as a sister when the time called for it. Like the rest of my family, she worried about me -just in harsh way.

"I'm not worried about myself." The amount of truth I put behind that statement scared me.

"We'll worry about you." Esme stood up and embraced me in her motherly arms. "You take care of Bella."

That was the end of the conversation. It was likely that Rosalie would try to strike it up on a later time, closer to Bella's expiration date. But for the moment it would be shelved. Alice would continue to keep watch of the future as it changed with every decision made. I wondered when the ultimate decision would be made and by whom.


	5. Back to School

Author Notes: Okay, so the months got away from me there. I didn't expect to delay this much in updating, but I'm a lot busier than I expected for school. I expect to run into some freetime with the holidays, so maybe I'll be more diligent then. Let me know what you think.

**Disclaimer: The **_**Twilight**_** world and all characters depicted are a creation of author, Stephenie Meyers.**

**Back to School**

By Hoshi-ni-Onegai

When everyone went about getting ready for the day, I stood by my car waiting. Alice twirled over to me. "You're going to go drive Bella to school today."

"What?" That wasn't a decision I considered or made. What had she seen and how?

"We're taking Rosalie's car." She grinned at my confused face. "I made the decision. You'll appreciate it later. Trust me."

I trusted her as far as I could throw her, which was really far. The rule in the house was you never bet against Alice. If she said I was to pick up Bella, then there must be a reason for it.

I left with my car and driving at illegal speeds, I soon pulled into the street Bella lived on. Charlie was peeling out of the driveway as her house came into view. Parking right by her mailbox I stepped out and leaned against my car waiting. I heard some clattering from inside as Bella prepared for the day. Minutes later she barreled through the front door and quickly locked the door. I glanced at my watch; she was running a bit late. No wonder she was rushing.

She was halfway to her truck when she finally noticed my car, and then me. Her eyes widened in surprise, "Edward?" Her surprise soon turned into a smile as she walked up to me. "What are you doing here? Change your mind about the books?"

"I'm taking you to school." I opened the passenger door for her.

"What? Are your spidey senses telling you that my car is broken?" She slipped into my car. By the time her seatbelt was buckled, I was already in the car with the ignition started. She was startled and let out a yell to see me already in the driver's seat.

I couldn't help the smug look on my face. "What's wrong Bella?"

She laughed as she steadied her breath. "Didn't realize how fast you actually are."

Being as she was taking my abilities in stride, I hadn't considered her reaction. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."

"No big. Maybe you can show me all your tricks. Can you turn into a bat?"

"That's a myth." I chuckled, "So is the burning in the sun, holy water, stake through the heart, garlic allergy, and needing an invitation to enter a home."

She frowned, "So what's true? Only the blood thing?"

"Well, there is this one thing with the sunlight."

"Can I see?" Her voice held the curiosity of a child's.

"Maybe." I responded as I drove through the sleepy town.

As we approached the school she questioned, "So what's with the chauffer service?"

"Alice told me to."

"Your sister?" She was obviously confused.

It was odd telling someone of our gifts, something that had remained a secret all these decades. But now that she knew, she might as well know everything. "She's a clairvoyant: she can see the future."

She shook her head smiling, "I bet she saw me coming."

"Her visions are subjective. The future can always change." I glanced at her as we pulled into the school lot. "I'm depending on them changing."

"Did she see something you didn't like?"

The various images I saw of her flashed through my mind: the one of us in the hospital room, her bedroom, the school lot, the meadow, and finally the one of her as a vampire running through the woods. I cleared my throat unnecessarily, "Something like that."

"Cryptic. Gotcha, creature of the night with secrets." As I pulled into a space in the parking lot she asked, "So what future did she see that involved me hitching a ride with you?"

"I don't know. She didn't let me see."

"What's the point of that?" Her lips turned down, "I better not need another ride home because of a fever. My normal body temperature average is going to be off by two degrees if this keeps up."

I remained silent on her comment. The reason for her constant fevers was her tumor, a reminder of the short time she had left. I was still amazed at how healthy she looked on the outside and that she was still able to function by going to school. I've encountered my fair share of terminal patients, usually by this late stage people were bed ridden and spending their days in a daze.

Once fully parked, Bella gathered her bag and peeked nervously out the window. "Everyone is staring."

I looked over the students who blatantly gawked at the new passenger of my Volvo. "Not that guy." I pointed to a curly haired student off to the side but he turned as if hearing my words. "No he just looked."

"Now I know what an animal feels like at the zoo." As she mumbled her reluctance, I got out of the car and moved around to open the door for her. "It's like the first day of school all over again."

"We're not exactly known to socialize outside of our family." I lowered my voice and leaned down slightly so she would only hear. "I'd watch out for the barrage of questions from Jessica later. She's dying to know why you came with me today."

"Like I actually know the answer to that." Bella scoffed, then glanced skeptically. "The mind reading thing... You sure you can't hear my thoughts?"

"Positive." It was one of the most frustrating situations I've ever encountered.

She furrowed her brows then questioned, "What number am I thinking of?"

Her mind remained silent, despite the look of deep concentration on her face. "Fourteen?" I attempted.

Bella narrowed her eyes, "I was thinking about the color green."

I laughed. "You're the only person in the world that can trick me Bella Swan."

"And lie to you."

I shook my head, "I'm getting the feeling that you are a terrible liar."

She frowned as we reached the part of the hall where we split off in separate directions to go to class. "Then what does it matter that you can't read my mind? My mom always said I was easy to read, like an open book."

"Then you're written in a language I don't know." I nodded toward the antsy teen at the end of the hall staring our way. "Better get going before Jessica bursts with all her questions."

She glanced back and scrunched her nose. "I can imagine the questions she has."

"I'll be listening in." I began walking away backwards, "See you at lunch?"

"What?" The genuine surprise on her face and in her voice was clearly evident.

I didn't give her a chance to reply before I turned and went to class. I settled into Mr. Varner's class, yet my mind was already paying more attention to Mr. Mason's English class. I could see from Jessica's mind's eye as she quickly tugged her and Bella into their respective seats.

'_What is the deal with you and Edward Cullen?'_

Judging by the look on Bella's face, Jessica's pitch went up a few too many octaves. _'We're friends.'_

'_Since when?' Second week in this place, first one spent in the hospital with the sniffles and she bags a Cullen? 'Where do you even know each other?' God, and the only available Cullen too!_

'_He's my lab partner in bio.'_

Jessica mentally rolled her eyes. She was evidently getting annoyed with the brunette. _'From what Mike told me, you guys didn't even talk.'_

'_I ran into him at the hospital when he went to see his dad.'_

The bell rang indicating the start of the period. I barely noticed my class starting its lesson. I've already taken calculus countless times, and I didn't know what Bella would say so I paid more attention to that instead.

'_Wait are you guys dating?' _Jessica was whispering to Bella as Mr. Mason started teaching.

Bella shook her head in response as she diligently took notes. There was a part of Bella that I don't know if I will understand. Anyone else in her position of standing on edge of death's cliff wouldn't bother taking notes for a test she may not even take, turn in homework for a final grade that won't matter, or bother being nice to a vampire.

'_Then why did he give you a ride to school?'_ Bella shrugged in response. _Yeah right. I bet she begged for him to pick her up. But why would Edward even say yes? I mean, she's not even that pretty. Sure she's not heinous, but she's not winning any beauty pageants._

I frowned and tuned out from that point. It didn't seem like Jessica was going to ask any more useful questions nor was Bella giving actual responses. There was also only so much of Jessica's vapid internal monologue I could take before-

_Cullen isn't listening. Let's see if he'll straighten up if he feels like an idiot when I ask him to answer_. "Mr. Cullen? Are you with us?" The entire class twisted in their seats to stare at me. Mr. Varner grinned in sadistic satisfaction. "Why don't give us the answer to the question?" _He'll never get it, he doesn't even know what question we're on. 2x__2__+x+3_

That was the thing with teachers. They always thought of the answer the moment the question left their mouths. "The first derivative is 2x2+x+3."

The class turned forward to see if I was correct. At Mr. Varner's annoyed expression, the students knew I had gotten it right and didn't spare me a second glance.

For the remainder of the class I wasn't called on, but kept partial attention. My head was too distracted with my new predicament of being exposed to a human -albeit one that promised not to spread the truth.

Three class periods later I was walking to lunch when Alice caught up with me. "I think that's a wonderful idea Edward."

I glanced at my sister, who was never at a lack for energy. "What's a wonderful idea?"

"Inviting Bella to eat lunch with us." She answered as if it was obvious.

"More accurately, we'll just watch her eat." I then added, "I was also going to sit separately with her."

"No, I saw that outcome. You're going to say something stupid and she's going to avoid you in biology because of it." She grinned and tugged me to the lunch line to pick up our props. "So better she sits with us, I'll chaperone so you don't say anything stupid."

I sighed in defeat as I picked up an apple, pizza, and a bottle of water. There was little I could do to argue with Alice and her reasoning. A peek into the future she saw where I sat alone with Bella told me I did say something stupid. I wasn't exactly Casa Nova and I didn't have the most extensive experience with dealing with women.

"I can't promise anything about Emmett though." Alice quickly paid for the both of us and gestured me to follow to the silverware station. She indicated back to the line where Bella and Angela were making their way through. "Now go invite her."

She took the tray from me and went over to our usual table where the rest of my siblings were already seated. I glanced over at the line where Bella was nearly at the checkout.

Angela saw my gaze, smiled, and whispered to Bella. "Edward Cullen is looking at you."

With only lemonade in hand Bella turned to her friend. "He mentioned something about lunch earlier..."

Angela giggled in response. "Are you two dating?"

Bella groaned slightly at the question. "No. Just friends."

_Why?_ _You'd be so cute together. _"Why not? He seems to like you." That's one of the reasons why I appreciated Angela, and especially as a friend to Bella, her thoughts were never too far off from her words.

"I doubt that." Bella paid for the lemonade and waited for her friend to get through. "Anyways, I don't date."

Coming out of the line with her tray Angela frowned. "Charlie's rules?"

"Nope. A Bella rule." The two made their way to grab silverware for Angela when they finally came up to me.

I smiled at the two of them. "Hi Bella, Angela."

_He knows my name!_ "Hi Edward." Angela greeted back.

"I was wondering if I you wanted to join me for lunch." The invitation was originally for Bella only, but with the sincerity behind Angela's thoughts I couldn't leave her out.

"Well, I usually sit with-" Bella's words were quickly cut off when Angela butted in.

"Don't worry about us. Go sit with the Cullens. You need to get to know more people in this school." _This will save her from Mike drooling on her for the day, and Jessica poisoning her against all other girls at school._

"Are you sure? I don't want everyone to think I ditched you guys."

"No worries. I'll tell them I forced you over there if I need to." Angela smiled at me. "We want her back tomorrow though."

I smiled at Angela in response. "I promise not to hog her."

"What am I? A library book?" Bella protested.

With that Angela went over to her usual table and I motioned Bella to follow. Seeing the direction I was headed Bella became rigid in her steps. "With your family? Are you sure?"

"Don't worry. Alice is excited to meet you."

She frowned, "I'm more worried about your other sister. If looks could kill..."

I chuckled at her comment and when Rosalie purposefully looked away. "You know, we have really good hearing."

"How good?" Her voice was a bit nervous.

"Well, let's just say I know that Tyler is listening to The Shins on his mp3 player."

She shook her head, "That doesn't tell me anything. You can read minds. For all I know you heard it from his head."

I had to give her that. I did hear it from his head, and from the head phones. "Okay, then why don't you tell me about this 'Bella rule' on not dating?"

A pretty blush swept across her face and she mumbled beneath her breath. "Fine, I believe you. Superman hearing."

As we came up to our table I gave Emmett a warning look, but it didn't prevent his comment from spilling out. "Look what Edward brought: lunch." He added a toothy grin for good measure.

Instead of paling like she should in response to being considered as food, Bella shook her head. "I don't think I would taste very good. I mean, a sick chicken doesn't sound appetizing to me anyways."

All four of my siblings gave her blank stare until Emmett finally burst out laughing and pulled back the chair next to him. "You're alright. Come on, sit down."

She took the offered seat. "I'm alright as in you're going to eat me?"

"Well, not today." Despite Emmett's lack of filter, I was thankful for his usual friendly nature coming forward. No wonder other students found him the least frightening out of all of us.

I tried to take the empty seat next to her, but Alice quickly pushed me out of the way and took it instead. I was left sitting between Alice and Jasper.

"Hi, I'm Alice." She added an overwhelming hug to her introduction. "We're going to be great friends."

"Okay." Bella dumbly answered.

"That's Jasper, he's sort of my husband."

Jasper raised a brow, "Sort of?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Fine, he is, but currently we're in high school so let's keep that on the down low."

"I'm Emmett." He offered a smirk, "And this is Rosalie."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "She's heard all of this from that insipid girl."

"Insipid?... Oh, you mean Jessica." Bella leaned backward behind Alice to whisper to me, "Are you sure it's okay I'm here?"

Alice answered instead. "Of course its fine. It's not every day someone outside the family knows about us." She put the emphasis on us.

Rosalie bit in before someone could second Alice's motion. "Let's just keep pretending like this isn't dangerous for all of us."

I rolled my eyes as I fiddled with the apple on my tray. "Ignore Rosalie, I do."

The blonde vampire glared at me, "No, she should know. The entire family will be implicated if this ends badly."

"Badly..." Bella hesitated over her words after gulping down some of her lemonade. "As in I become the meal."

The rest of us, save for Rosalie, laughed at her comment. Alice shook her head giggling. "Don't worry. I'll make sure that doesn't happen." She pointed to the lone drink, "You're not going to eat anything?"

"I wasn't really hungry." She took another sip.

I saw from Alice's mind a vision of Bella slightly weakened from her lack of nutrition. Alice spared me a glimpse before pulling my tray and sliding it in front of Bella. "Here. Eat this. And before you say you're not hungry, you'll thank me later that you ate something."

She looked down at the offered food then at me. "You sure?"

I shrugged, "It's not like I'm actually going to eat it."

She nodded, picked up the pizza, and took a small bite. Seeing her eat Jasper slid over his tray with his untouched French fries. Emmett joined in and passed his ham sandwich. Alice set her fruit cup next to the bottled water on now Bella's tray. Even Rosalie slid over her side salad.

Bella stared mutely at the buffet presented before her, then let out a laugh. "Thanks guys."

There was no way someone as petite as Bella would be able to eat half of it, let alone all of it. Setting the pizza down, she made the rounds through all the offered foods, taking a small bite from each.

"So, Bella, what are you doing this Friday?" Alice questioned. I could hear the plan she was forming in her head.

"Friday? Not much I guess." It was Monday after all, a little early to be planning for the weekend.

"Then you can come over to our house. Esme is dying to meet you." There was finality to Alice's words that didn't allow for protest.

"Wait, seriously? To your house?" Bella chewed on her lip then questioned, "Who is Esme?"

"For all intents and purposes, our mother." I added to the conversation.

"Edward will take you directly from school on Friday then." Alice grinned as she watched Bella pick at Jasper's fries.

Bella frowned, "I didn't say yes yet."

"Don't bother. She already saw you decide." Emmett commented. "So aside from the monsters you're running into, how's Forks treating you?"

"Good, I guess. It's not my first time here." She munched down on another fry. "I was born here after all."

"You're a native?" Emmett grinned. _Taking an interest in the local cuisine Edward._ I frowned at his mental comment.

"Yeah. My mom moved me when I was three months old, but I've come back for a month every summer since." She thought her comment over then added, "Until 2002 that is."

"That explains some things." Jasper suddenly said calling attention from Bella. Everyone else knew what he meant. There was no way that Bella could have been in the small town of Forks for a whole month every year without me having run into her. The smell alone would have been memorable, even if I didn't know who it was.

"What things?" Bella moved on to the fruit cup.

"We moved here in 2003." Jasper answered.

"Oh, well Charlie started visiting by then." Bella didn't add any further. From the timeline that I knew of her disease, sometime in 2002 was when she was initially diagnosed. If she was going through the aggressive treatments like Carlisle said, then it was likely that she was unable to visit Forks because of her health.

"Nothing much to do here anyways." Emmett pretended to fuss around with the potato chips on his tray.

"Really? Because everyone keeps on mentioning La Push beach." Bella was no doubt commenting on the trip her usual lunch table was planning for this Saturday. From what I gathered from Mike's thoughts, he attempted inviting her but she had declined -he blamed me for that.

"We don't go there." Rosalie spit out.

Bella was taken aback by the comment. "Is there something wrong with that beach?"

"It's just a little crowded." I said before Rosalie could answer.

"Oh, I'm not much for crowds." She glanced around to the trays in front of us with the picked at but not eaten food. "So you don't eat."

Emmett grinned, "Not in front of people."

"How is that... Oh, you get it from a blood bank or something?" She innocently questioned.

Alice shook her head and laughed, "No. We don't drink humans."

"We consider ourselves vegetarians." I mentioned. "We only drink from animals." I don't know how Bella imagined our diets up to now. Did she think we bit someone, partially drained them, and leave them? Or did she think we killed them all the way? If so, why wasn't she disgusted?

Bella frowned, "Which would actually make you the opposite of vegetarians... Not cannibals, but definitely carnivores."

Emmett laughed. _I like her. Don't scare her away._ "I never liked that the 'vegetarian' joke anyways."

"Do you like shopping Bella?" Alice randomly asked. Well, it would seem random to me if I wasn't privy to her erratic train of thought.

Bella shifted a bit uncomfortably in her seat. "Not really."

"Figured. I think you've worn the same shoes every time I've seen you." She grinned. "What would you say to a makeover?"

There goes Alice, mildly insulting every female not in designer clothes.

Bella looked down at her feet. "What's wrong with my chucks?"

"Don't answer that." I butt in before Alice could go on some sort of rant.

Bella shot me a look then faced Alice. "I'm not really into the whole doll up and dress up thing."

"Come on Bella. A little makeup and a new outfit never hurt anyone." Alice begged in response.

Bella nervously looked to me, "A little help here?"

"No one can save you from Alice." I gestured around the table. "Who do you think dresses all of us? Trust me, we don't have a say in the matter."

"Well, except for Rosalie. She doesn't have bad taste." Alice said, "But the boys. Well, they're boys."

"I have gym today." Bella's blatant attempt at changing the conversation even elicited a chuckle from Jasper.

"You have gym every day." I responded, going along with the new topic.

"The thing is, I don't know if I'm up for it."

"It's only badminton." Rosalie added, much to everyone's surprise.

Bella grinned at the blonde's attempt at conversation. "I'm not exactly gifted with good hand-eye coordination. If Mike Newton is my partner again, he might lose an eye this time."

"Don't you have a doctor's note?" I asked. For someone going through a terminal illness, you would think she would have her bases covered.

"What would it say? 'Please excuse due to brain tumor?'" She then frantically glanced at each of my siblings. "Oh, wait. Do you all know? You can all read minds right?"

"No, that's just me." I smirked, "Do you have a paper and pen?"

She nodded and dug through her bag to bring forth the asked items. "I know Alice can see the future. Do the rest of you have neat abilities?"

"Jasper can control people's emotions." Alice said while smiling at her husband. "Why don't you give a small demonstration?"

I began writing on the paper while shooting Jasper a warning glance.

He nodded in understanding, more to me than Alice. _I'll keep it simple._

"Well?" The tone bubbling from Bella was angry, something I hadn't had the chance to encounter yet. "Are you going to show me or not?"

"You couldn't have picked a better emotion?" Alice sighed.

Jasper stopped his effects and shrugged. Bella relaxed as soon as it was over and her eyes widened. "That was weird." She narrowed her eyes at Jasper. "You probably always get your way then."

"With Alice? No. And Edward never falls for it." He politely answered.

She laughed in response then looked to Rosalie who was sitting next to him. "I think I know what Rosalie's gift is..." She moved her gaze to Emmett, "So what do you have Emmett?"

"I'm strong."

"I thought you were all strong." Bella frowned.

"I'm stronger." Emmett smirked. "So what do you think Rosalie has?"

"Don't say it like I have a deadly disease." Rosalie admonished, but she regretted it the moment the words left her. I gave her a reprimanding glare at her slip. She tentatively added, "Sorry."

Bella didn't notice the slip it seems, as she was surprised by the apology. "Oh, no big." She tilted to her head to consider the blonde. "Your gift has to be beauty right? Blinding your enemies with how pretty you are."

I smiled when I heard Rosalie's internal monologue after Bella's comment. She would have blushed at the compliment if she had the ability to.

I slid the paper and pen back to Bella. "You're actually right... Well, maybe not the blinding part."

She took the offered paper and read the writing out loud. "'Dear Coach Clapp, Please excuse Miss Isabella Swan from gym for the remainder of the week as she is still recovering from a particularly bad case of the influenza. Thank you, Dr. Carlisle Cullen.'"

"One of Edward's famous forged notes." Emmett commented while looking the paper over.

"You have incredibly messy handwriting." Bella added.

I frowned, "No I don't. I'm just imitating what Coach Clapp is going to expect from a busy medical doctor."

"I think you worried to much about that part and less about how Dr. Cullen suddenly knows who my gym teacher is."

"This is a small town Bella, everyone knows who the high school gym teacher is." Alice grinned, "Don't worry, he won't question the note at all. Trust me."

Nodding, Bella took the forged document and neatly folded it before stuffing into her bag. Seeing the look I gave her she added, "It needs to be wrinkled from being in my bag all day to be believable."

I chuckled and motioned to stand up, "We better head over to bio."

"The warning bell hasn't-" At that moment the bell gave its shrill ring. She frowned, "Sure you can't tell the future?"

"Pretty sure." I took the tray from her hands as she got up. "I can't trust you to walk all the way to the trashcan without tripping."

"I don't think I'm that bad." She turned to my siblings before leaving. "It was nice meeting all of you."

They responded in kind, except Rosalie who was still curt.

Bella kept step with me as I carried the tray. Half way to the trash she tripped over her feet, then caught herself just as quickly. Hearing Emmett's laugh she looked back at the table of laughing vampires and glared up at me, "Save it. I don't want to hear it."

I smiled innocently and dumped the tray's contents into the trash then set the tray off to the collection bin.

"Now that I know you never actually eat any of it," She commented to the trash. "It seems like a huge waste of food."

"If it makes you feel any better, the food was eaten more today than any other day." I added for good measure, "Even if you eat like a bird."

"I just don't seem to have much of an appetite."

At her comment I was brought again back to the reality of her condition. There were little things here and there that hinted toward her early demise.

I must have sported a regretful expression because she quickly added, "I never did. Not even before my buddy upstairs."

"Buddy upstairs?" Was she referring to her tumor as person?

"Yeah. It's been with me for three years now, I even named it."

Who else in the history of humanity would name the deformed cluster of cells growing in their brain that was slowly killing them? "What's her name?"

"His name," she emphasized. "Is Steve."

"Why Steve?" Times like these I wish I could listen in on her thought process.

"As in Steve McQueen, 'The King of Cool?'" I raised a brow in response. "He died from a tumor too."

I remember distinctly when the actor died, there so much media coverage on his condition after the announcement that he suffered from a terminal cancer. I shook my head, "He died from a botched surgery in Mexico. Looking for a cure."

"Which he never would have agreed to if his tumor wasn't killing him."

"So you have a list of people you look up to?"

"Not really, just him." We entered the classroom and settled into our seats. "And maybe Susan Sarandon."

I chuckled, "Stuck on this movie aren't you?"

She dumped her bag underneath the lab table. "A super mom that finds the cure to her son's progressive brain illness? She'd be a hero in my book any day."

I leaned my forearms against the table then whispered to her. "Are you waiting for a cure?"

She seemed surprised by my question. Looking at my face she smiled. "Now wipe that look off before someone thinks I killed your puppy."

I only nodded in response. She must not have been happy with lack of change in my facial expression because she huffed.

"Hey, the deal is I keep your secret if you keep mine. So smile and pretend to be excited for _Lorenzo's Oil_."

"You're so much stronger than any of us."

"I don't know... Emmett seems like he could lift a small car with one hand." She sighed, "Look, I've been through the five stages of grief. If you're going to need to go through all of them while I'm still around, I'm going to end this friendship right now."

There was humor in her voice, but I knew the threat was real. I attempted a smile. She finally seemed pleased enough with it.

"There's that dazzle." She looked to the front of the class to see Mr. Molina starting the movie. "Now let's see if Ms. Sarandon can save her son."

I didn't pay attention to the movie. Bella, on the other hand was riveted.

She said she had gone through all the stages of grief. I imagined her in each stage. Going through denial as she reasoned she didn't feel sick. Yelling at the doctor and her parents in anger and blaming them. Trying to bargain her way out by saying she'll be a better daughter and student. Depression pressing down on her slim shoulders as her looming death finally becomes an oncoming reality. I only knew her at her final stage: acceptance. From what I had seen of her in these few short days, she was at peace with her fate. I wondered when or what had tipped her into her final stage.

I finally noticed the movie ending when it showed a brief explanation of what happened to the boy Lorenzo in real life. Lorenzo made some recovery and lived into adulthood. The VHS tape was too old to have the updated status of Lorenzo, who died at the age of thirty.

The lights flicked on and Mr. Molina addressed the class. "Now I want you all to read through the chapter on genetics in your textbooks. You just need to read, we'll do a follow up activity tomorrow. See you all then."

The bell rang soon afterward while the student gathered their things. Slinging her bag over her shoulder Bella peered up at me, "You're not going to forget about me are you?"

"About what?" Seeing her frown I smiled, "Don't worry, I'll drive you home. I'll see you after last period."

"Appreciate it." We walked toward the hallway and she grinned. "Oh, and I'll be using that note you wrote me. Anything to skip gym."

"Coach Clapp is still going to make you watch." I pointed out.

She shrugged, "Just as long as I'm not lodging a shuttlecock into Mike's head. See you later."

As she walked toward the gymnasium, Mike shoved passed me to catch up with her. I rolled my eyes at the boy and his thoughts. _Stay away from her weirdo. Just because you're her lab partner doesn't mean you own her._

I wanted to throw the same sentiments back at him. I mentally berated myself. I was doing exactly what I promised Bella I wouldn't: I was growing attached. The surge of protectiveness and possessiveness I felt toward her was unhealthy and unsafe. At the rate that our friendship was going, I feared for my actions the day of her death. Would I be so overcome with grief that I wouldn't let her completely go? Suddenly the possibility of biting her at the last minute to keep her at my side flashed through my mind. I shoved the thought away violently.


	6. La tua cantante

Author Notes: So I had a lot of this story written, but I really on have 1 chapter left in my reserves, which means I need to get writing again. I have certain events of the story figured out, but I don't have the vital point decided yet. I have no idea if I will kill Bella off or not. A lot of you are wondering what her fate will be, and honestly, I have no idea. And no, I will not be taking this up to a vote. I'll just let the story flow naturally. This is a lot like my other RK story, this is an look into what it means to be alive. Let me know what you think on the flipside.

**Disclaimer: The **_**Twilight**_** world and all characters depicted are a creation of author, Stephenie Meyers.**

**La tua cantante**

By Hoshi-ni-Onegai

"What? Did you eat her during bio?" Emmett's words were a much needed distraction from my mental prison.

"Not quite yet." I had mindlessly walked to Spanish class and sat in my regular seat while I was lost in my thoughts.

_If you bite her by mistake no one will blame you._ His words of comfort did not do their job. If Bella were to die at my hands my family would easily forgive me, but I wouldn't be so generous.

"I don't think we have to worry about that." I whispered for only him to hear.

_That's because you're not just looking at her as a meal anymore._ He faced forward but continued directing his thoughts to me. _You know, I was completely against this in the beginning._

I raised a brow at that. Emmett had been joking, but never voiced on the contrary to my interaction with Bella.

_Alice was pretty convincing, and with Esme on her side I didn't have anything I could say. They want you to be happy and if a tiny human brunette is the answer, then no one is standing in your way. Oh, well maybe Mrs. Goff, she's headed our way._

"Edward, estas prestando atencion? Me puede decir la tema de la lectura?"

_Spanish civil war. _Emmett threw the answer my way.

"La guerra civil?" I answered.

Mrs. Goff grinned. _Gotcha. _"No, estuve hablando de economia europea. Por favor, presta atencion."

I nodded, and I could hear the shocked thoughts from the rest of the class. Once she turned away I glared at my brother and hissed out, "Thanks a lot."

He grinned. _Not my fault you're not paying attention._

I was forced to actually participate for the rest of class as Mrs. Goff took sick pleasure in keeping me on my toes. I could usually pick a teacher's brain fast enough to get the right answer, but I was stupid enough to trust Emmett this time.

When the dismissal bell rang, I was the first student out the door. I barely spared a glance to my brother before marching over to the gym. I waited by the door until I heard Bella talking to Jessica on their way out.

"So he's driving you back?" Jessica seemed to continue the Q and A from the morning.

"I hope so. Otherwise I don't have a ride home." Bella answered her inquisitive classmate.

_I don't get it. Why are all the boys falling over themselves for her? _"But you two aren't dating."

Bella laughed, "No. Just friends."

At that point they came through the door and I was bombarded with Jessica's thoughts. _Oh my God! Edward Cullen!_

"Hey Bella, Jessica." I greeted.

_He knows my name!_ Why was it that everyone thought I didn't know their name in this school?

I looked to Bella, "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." She walked toward me and waved to her friend. "See you tomorrow Jess."

As we headed toward the car I could hear the curious, jealous, and spiteful thoughts of the other students. I blocked them out and concentrated on my current companion.

"So how was gym?"

She grinned up at me, "The note worked like a charm."

Bella automatically made her way to the passenger side of the car. I looked over the hood of the car. "What are you doing after this?"

"Not much. Homework I guess." She narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

I climbed into the car and she did the same. Buckling in, I finally answered her. "I want to show you something."

"This better not lead to an R rated scenario." She settled into her seat.

"Nothing like that, I promise. This will be rated G."

I pulled us out of the parking lot and headed toward the outskirts of town.

She fidgeted in her seat until she broke the silence. "So how old?"

I glimpsed at her from the corner of my eye. "What?"

"You said you were younger than I thought... So how old are you?"

I smirked at her question. "How old do you think I am?"

"Do I get a hint?"

"What kind of hint?" I pressed.

She scrunched her nose in pensive thought. After a long minute she hesitantly asked, "Are you American?"

I laughed. After becoming a vampire I never really thought about my nationality, but her question was valid. "Yes."

She thought it over a moment longer then said. "Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492... 1550ish then?"

"Seriously? Not even Carlisle is that old." I added, "Also, that wouldn't make me American. "

"Sure it does." She turned slightly in her seat to look at me fully. "So Carlisle is the oldest?"

"Yes. Well, by the amount of years on earth. By our perpetual age Esme is few years older."

"You're the youngest right?" She tilted her head, "So what's the order? Youngest to oldest, by years not age."

"Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, Alice, me, Jasper, then Carlisle." I shrugged, "It might be a little odd that my mother is younger than most of us."

She seemed more surprised at the order I presented. "You're one of the oldest? Wait, really, how old are you?"

I figured I kept her in suspense long enough. "I was born in 1901, and changed in 1918."

She laughed at the dates. "No wonder you didn't know that much about the civil war. Maybe you can help me when we cover the world wars."

It never ceased to amaze me how well she took each revelation of my kind. "Yes, that I can help you with. Jasper is the person to go to for the civil war." I added, "He was a major in the confederate army after all."

"Major? Wow. So how about you? Did you do anything nifty in your life pre-vampire?"

I pulled over on the side of the road and cut the engine. "I was only seventeen. Have you done anything amazing?"

I got out of the car and she did the same. She seemed to be thinking her answer over. "I once ate dirt on a bet."

"I'm sure you did." I walked us to the edge of the woods, and then crouched down in front of her. "Hop on."

"Hop on? On your back?" Her voice was incredulous.

"Either I run us up there, or you're hiking." I gestured with my hands to get on.

"Up where?" She carefully climbed onto my back, making careful moves like she would break me. "I'm just getting on because my clumsiness and hiking isn't the best combination."

"Hold on tight." I warned back before we disappeared into the forest.

She let out a yelp as we sped through trees. I weaved through the familiar forest and I can feel her arms grip tightly around my neck. Her legs clamp firmly on my hips and her feet hooks over my front. I laugh as I can feel her lips against my neck opening in a silent scream.

Coming close the destination, I slow down and I can feel her panicked heartbeats against my back. I stop just shy of breaking through the trees. "You okay back there?"

Bella's unsteady feet touchdown onto the overgrown forest undergrowth and her trembling arms unwrap themselves from my neck but her fingers quickly fisted into the fabric of my coat. Taking in a shuttering breath she hissed out, "You could have warned me we were going to go so fast."

"Did you expect a light jog?" I wrapped my fingers around her fist to help easing them away from the wool of my coat. I was mildly surprised to see that there were no holes left from her death grip.

"If this was some macho demonstration of how fast you are I'm going to be pissed." She finally let go and stood fully on barely steady legs. "So what are we doing here?"

I pointed to just past the trees in front of us. "Just ahead."

She followed my finger and stepped ahead of me. "This better be good."

Not twenty feet away, she cleared the shadows that tirelessly cloaked the entire Olympic Peninsula. She was immediately bathed in sunlight as she broke into the perfectly circular meadow. Feeling the warmth of the sun on her face her eyes slid shut and a smile crept across her face.

"So this is where you guys keep the sun." Ignoring the slight mist that perpetually clung to the tall grass she disappeared into them as she lied down. "Not gonna lie, the ground is freezing, but this feels a bit like home."

I didn't move forward nor say anything. Bella had accepted each revelation of my powers and abilities a bit too calmly. This was sure to unravel any minute now. This would be the straw that broke the camel's back. If not the next thing, it might be the one after.

She sat up and faced my way. "Are you going to join me out here?"

I steeled my resolve and took calculated steps toward her. I cursed myself for being overly dramatic. I should just get on with it and show her. I took the last steps and felt the rays sweep over me. The light refracted off my skin into thousands of different glimmers.

Her eyes never moved from my figure and she gasped when I came forward. She stumbled to her feet and squinted her eyes to focus on me. "You're... glittery."

I frowned at her statement. "We prefer the term sparkle."

"That doesn't make any sense. Why would a blood diet make you sparkly?" Bella sighed heavily. "You're ruining all the myths. Shouldn't you be bursting into flames?"

Obviously I had absolutely nothing to worry about. "Sorry to disappoint you." I said in a deadpan tone.

"Oh you know what I mean." She smiled then looked me over. "You're beautiful."

I couldn't help the scowl the turned up my lips. "It's the skin of a killer Bella."

She rolled her eyes. "Also the skin of a my little pony, but who's cares?"

I walked over to the middle of the field where she stood. She suddenly gripped my right hand tugging me down to lie in the tall grass. The little bit of strength did nothing to bring me tumbling down, but I humored her.

As we lied in the clearing our hands remained joined where she had previously grabbed it. The air was bitingly cold and my icy digits couldn't be helping. From the corner of my eye I could see her breath puff out into the air.

"Why is it sunny here?" She whispered out.

"We're out of the cloud bank."

"Is that why you guys live in Forks? Because it's so dark and dreary all the time?" She turned her head to look at the side of my face.

"Mainly, and we can keep a low profile here."

"You can keep a low profile in a city by blending in. In Forks, you guys are the local celebrities." She grinned. "So anything else? Any more magical abilities you're hiding?"

I thought her question over. Was it smart to tell her everything? I mentally sighed, might as well rip the Band-Aid off in one go. "You know when you said Emmett might be able to lift a small car with one hand?"

"Yeah?"

"He can do that in his sleep." I replied.

"But you don't sleep." She pointed out. "And you don't have fangs. What's the point of being a vampire if you don't get the cool canines?"

"Cool? They would seem like they would get in the way."

"They do." She smiled at my look. "I was Dracula for Halloween one year. Those plastic teeth were a pain."

I imagined a young Bella running from house to house with vampire teeth and a cape flapping behind her as she demanded candy.

"How about the eye color? That has to be a vampire thing too right?" She continued on with her questions.

"Vegetarian vampires have gold eyes." I could see that she frowned at the term. "Okay, carnivores. Cannibals have red eyes."

"And black? Bad mood?"

"It's not a mood ring Bella." Was this it? Was this the piece of information that would drive her away? "It means we're hungry."

She sat up slightly and looked down at me. "Oh... when we first met... how long was it since you ate a dog?"

I frowned. "We don't eat dogs Bella."

She frowned in response. "Why not?"

"For one, they don't taste very good." I shook my head. "Anyway, when I first met you I wasn't due for another feeding for at least a week."

"Then why?"

I sat up as well and made sure my hand remained in hers, this may be the last time I am allowed to touch her. "You're my singer."

"Your what?" She scrunched her nose in confusion.

"Your blood sings to me unlike no one else's." I spoke my words carefully. "I have never wanted to drink from someone more in my entire existence."

Bella did the opposite of what would be good for her, she leaned forward. Her mahogany tresses slipped off her shoulder and fell like two curtains around her face. The inquisitive look on her face was the same look that probably killed the curiosity inflicted cat. "What about now?"

I gulped down the venom pooling in my mouth. "I fear I won't be able to control myself."

The grip she had on my hand tightened. "I think you underestimate yourself."

I found myself leaning toward her and unable to stop myself. "And I think you overestimate."

"Is that why you became my friend?" Her voice remained unbelievably trusting.

I reached my left hand up to tuck back her hair. My fingers lingered to trace her cheek for a brief moment before I dropped it to the ground. "I needed to see if I could be anything other than a monster."

"You're not a monster Edward." How could she be so sure?

I felt her free hand come up to follow my previous movements, but instead of pulling away I could feel the warmth seep from her hand to my jaw as she cradled it carefully. I froze in place as I was entranced by her brown eyes. Then, she did the most dangerous thing possible.

Bella closed the small distance that remained and her soft yielding lips met mine. It was tentative and shy. It was also over too quickly.

The blush and look on her face told me why she pulled away. There was look of rejection, one where she thought I didn't want her. I had remained perfectly still in fear that any movement may be the tipping point and I kill her. But I would do anything to make the emotion in her eyes disappear and stay away. I was falling in love her.

I lifted my hand and combed my fingers through her hair. I held her delicately as if she were made of fine porcelain. I pulled her forward and kissed her. Gently and cautiously, but it was exhilarating as my hard marble lips shaped to her supple warm ones.

I hadn't realized I was holding my breath since my last spoken word until I caught Bella's scent wafting into my senses. I was able to dredge up enough will power to pull away and took in a steadying breath, but was only met with her intoxicating aroma. Venom seeped into my mouth in anticipation.

I leaned my forehead on hers and shut my eyes. I needed to trample down the hunger.

"Edward?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

I tried to lighten the situation -I didn't want her to know that I was fighting my demon. "I lied, I think this makes it rated PG."

She tittered. "How about making this PG-13?"

"Let's not push your luck or my self control." I finally opened my eyes to see her staring at me. "Don't give me any more reasons to not return you to Charlie."

Laughing she pulled away and sat up. "And to Angela for lunch tomorrow."

"I don't know, I might break my promise and hog you anyways." I teased.

She grinned, "You would be saving me from Mike. He was hinting about the dance all through gym today."

"He didn't build up the courage to ask you?" With the recently transpired events I no longer worried about the Mike Newtons of the world trying their luck with Bella.

"It's girls choice, but I'm getting the feeling that he might break the rules and ask anyways." She groaned slightly at the thought.

"Are you going to ask someone?" I asked, pretending nonchalance.

"Real smooth Edward. Way to seem cool about it." She shook her head and smirked. "Either way, I don't dance. So I was going to duck out to Seattle that weekend to visit my mom."

"Can I go with you?" I asked.

"Like I said. I don't dance, and it's girls choice." She miffed out.

I laughed, "Not to the dance, to Seattle."

"Sure, I guess." She narrowed her eyes at me, "I can't see your breath."

I frowned. For a brief moment I was able to savor the moment as a boy with the girl he loved. But that was quickly wiped away. "I don't have a core body temperature. My breath isn't warm enough to turn to vapor."

"But you do need to breathe right?" She pressed on.

"Not necessarily. I can hold my breath, probably indefinitely, but it's uncomfortable because I can't keep track of smells." I then added, "I also need air to talk."

"Then I guess it's not too essential then." She grinned and lied back down in the grass. Her eyes slipped shut and a content sigh escaped her lips. "I can now understand why you hide from the sun, but I love it. I spent the majority of my life in Arizona and California."

"I've been to both, but never spent that much time there... for obvious reasons."

"I miss the heat and the sun." She whispered faintly.

"Do you want to go back?" A genuine question I desperately wanted to know the answer to.

"I don't have anything back there." Bella opened her eyes and faced up at me. "Anyways, I came here to be with Charlie for the end."

The end, as in the ultimate end where she takes in her final breath and her heart stops beating. "Are you afraid?"

"I was, but not anymore." Her words were confident. There was no room for me to doubt the sincerity behind them. After decades of knowing every true thought of the people around me, the nothingness from Bella forced me to pay closer attention to her.

"What changed?"

The softest smile crossed her features. "My mom got married."

I wasn't sure what she meant. My bewilderment was probably evident on my face.

"I worried what would happen to her after I was gone. I spent most of my life taking care of her, and now I feel like she's finally happy and Phil is this really great guy." She shrugged. "I can leave her now."

My chest tightened at her words. "And Charlie?"

"He's a terminal bachelor. And he'll be fine."

"What about your friends?" I included myself in this company, but I wasn't sure if she did.

"I didn't have much of friends to speak of before. I was never in school, I was in a different city all the time getting the latest treatments." She added, "And my friends here will barely have time to know me. Angela might actually cry because she's the nicest person I've ever met, but no one else will give me a second thought." Her next words were said with no malice, but they shook me to my core. "And that includes you Edward."

I leaned over her and frowned. "You're wrong."

Bella laughed. "You've been around for over a century and I'm the least spectacular girl you've ever met. I'll be lucky if in fifteen years I'm a passing thought when you see someone trip on nothing."

Bella would probably go running in the opposite direction if she knew how much my thoughts obsessively circulated around her. I was being selfish and monopolizing her limited free time, but she had life outside of our friendship. She worried about class work, hung out with her friends, cared for her parents, and watched diligently over her own health. In turn, my time was spent thinking about Bella, worrying about Bella, planning to spend time with Bella, and being with Bella. She would be far more than a passing thought.

I gulped down another dose of venom that seeped into my mouth. "You have no idea what you mean to me."

"Sure I do." She sat up and I had to lean back lest our heads bash together. "I'm your singer."

Bella pulled her hand out of mine and I immediately missed the connection. Standing up she walked back the way we came and called back over her shoulder, "Come on. You need to get me home."

The rest of our time was spent with no meaningful conversation. I wasn't sure who was avoiding breaching the obvious wall between us. Bella was the same as usual. I'm sure I was a wreck.

I dropped her off at home, Charlie hadn't arrived yet. She amicably asked if she should expect me there again tomorrow. I told her she should. She simply nodded with a smile and left.

I drove straight home with the events and conversations of the afternoon replaying in my mind. I parked my Volvo in the garage and cut the engine. I sat in the car, not moving to exit and join my family in the house. From what I heard of my family's mind, Alice had not exposed my afternoon events to their scrutiny.

I considered driving the night away, but decided against it. This was what I had become. I was wishing the night to be over so I can see the day and Bella again. As a vampire, your life was a day that never ended. I awoke in 1918 and it has been the same day since. We didn't have the luxury of resetting our minds with eight hours of sleep. It was a string of memories that never ended.

My existence had the curse of moving slowly and quickly. While my time used to crawl, now that there was a time clock that sped past me. I would be fortunate if there were months left. Months left to know her and indentify my bubbling emotions for her. Would I get the chance to tell her? Would I have the courage to?


End file.
